Welcome, Meerie! 
What an exciting and colorful path you've taken so far... haha I love it! When I was first waking up, I had experiences that were similar to yours. Mine weren't so much on the paranormal side, but were dealing with the waves of love and messages from what I speculate are guides or the higher self, getting me used to love, what it feels like to be in a higher state, and how to bring it about.
I was also motivated by the feeling that "it is my destiny to attain enlightenment". It sounds dramatic when I type it out, but it just felt like something that was going to happen. Of course, from my point of view now, "enlightenment" is only one small part of the bigger picture of spiritual truth, and an easily misunderstood term at that. But it was a good motivator from my higher self to get me started on the spiritual path. Lol! It seems like the guru needs or needed to realize that to attain enlightenment, you can't go around labelling yourself as enlightened...
I also know what it means to form a special bond with a song. Songs can be very healing. They can capture a vibrational state or concept very well, and are a useful tool to enjoy when working with consciousness, meditation, or what have you.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gone through the periods where your consciousness seems to raise and lower while awakening. It is inappropriate for someone to judge another's place on the path of spiritual awakening. But I can approximate that you may be experiencing what is called the "dark night of the soul". For more info about that, search for the term in the Q'uo channeling sessions. (Have you read those? Do you know how to get there?) You may find some valuable info there. I can also offer you comfort and hope by saying that your guidance system, and other beings that want to see you become a being of love yourself, help you raise your vibrational state and then gently allow you to lower back down, hoping that you'll get the hang of it yourself!
You've put yourself in a powerful position by posting here, because I can assure you there are a lot of people here that want to help you awaken yourself! So, I would say that now is not the time to dismay or be confused, scared, or discouraged. Believe in yourself and take the next step!
By the way, all that I'm saying to you is from my point of view. If I say something that doesn't seem right, or doesn't resonate with you, as they say, simply drop it and move on.
What an exciting and colorful path you've taken so far... haha I love it! When I was first waking up, I had experiences that were similar to yours. Mine weren't so much on the paranormal side, but were dealing with the waves of love and messages from what I speculate are guides or the higher self, getting me used to love, what it feels like to be in a higher state, and how to bring it about.
I was also motivated by the feeling that "it is my destiny to attain enlightenment". It sounds dramatic when I type it out, but it just felt like something that was going to happen. Of course, from my point of view now, "enlightenment" is only one small part of the bigger picture of spiritual truth, and an easily misunderstood term at that. But it was a good motivator from my higher self to get me started on the spiritual path. Lol! It seems like the guru needs or needed to realize that to attain enlightenment, you can't go around labelling yourself as enlightened...
I also know what it means to form a special bond with a song.
Songs can be very healing. They can capture a vibrational state or concept very well, and are a useful tool to enjoy when working with consciousness, meditation, or what have you.I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gone through the periods where your consciousness seems to raise and lower while awakening. It is inappropriate for someone to judge another's place on the path of spiritual awakening. But I can approximate that you may be experiencing what is called the "dark night of the soul". For more info about that, search for the term in the Q'uo channeling sessions. (Have you read those? Do you know how to get there?) You may find some valuable info there. I can also offer you comfort and hope by saying that your guidance system, and other beings that want to see you become a being of love yourself, help you raise your vibrational state and then gently allow you to lower back down, hoping that you'll get the hang of it yourself!
You've put yourself in a powerful position by posting here, because I can assure you there are a lot of people here that want to help you awaken yourself! So, I would say that now is not the time to dismay or be confused, scared, or discouraged. Believe in yourself and take the next step!
By the way, all that I'm saying to you is from my point of view. If I say something that doesn't seem right, or doesn't resonate with you, as they say, simply drop it and move on.