Postponed meditation

[ada]

In the past month or two I started having difficulties meditating and keeping my inner self silent.
This then lead to part denial of the Ra material and having doubts. The signs were still there, I just didn't know what to make of it.
Deep within my self I do want to heal and meditate, but being so busy with work and daily activities I became somewhat lazy/unmotivated.
Nevertheless I still try to be a loving and accepting entity and seek to see the creator within each and every individual that I meet in daily life experience.
Even when I had days off I chose playing computer games or watching TV series all day long. From time to time I took a space and tried meditating if only for a little time, but still with no success.
I couldn't keep my thoughts/images silent, my body was resisting my will. I've tried using pillows for comfort, music for peace, nothing came of it.
The past few days I decided to re-read the Ra material and since I've been getting really strong signs from the universe.
A couple of hours ago I decided to try and meditate, the only thought I kept was love and light. Still little came of it, I then deep within myself asked the confederation to help me as I only seek to serve the one creator.
I then felt a very calm shivering sensation in my body, I then visioned a point, from all around a violet color energy was coming and merging with it, little by little.
I don't know what to make of it as I don't specialize in chakras, just wanted to share and resonate this with the lovely community who has always reminded me what matters.