I flunked out of college because I was on Seroquel (and a bunch of other pills) and couldn't get myself out of bed to attend class. If I did make it to class, I would just fall asleep there, sometimes sitting up with my eyes open. I also found that not a single person was understanding of my situation and generally got hate on all sides.
I know that what I did about it is not for everyone. I quit all the pills and threw my entire life into gaining the self-honesty and self-discipline needed to manage my symptoms without chemical aid. In time I learned new, abstract ways of thinking that allow me to maintain my functionality. Basically, I am able to go to work, stay out of the mental hospital and present myself as a relatively normal person. People who meet me have no idea I struggle with constant mood swings, crippling anxiety and occasional hallucinations and delusional/paranoid thinking. It is a battle I get up and fight every day, and every day those efforts are usually challenged in some way. There are still times that I feel like it is too much, that I am going to fail and lose my mind entirely, and worst of all is the crushing guilt I feel over being this way, as if dealing with these issues makes me wrong or less somehow. It's not easy, and I'm not cured, but to me putting on the boxing gloves every morning was a better alternative to taking pills that were ruining my life in every way imaginable.
I don't know nearly enough about your situation to tell you what you should do. Ultimately it is your choice what you can and cannot sacrifice on the road toward mental health. In my experience, the world generally looks cruelly upon the mentally ill. Some people get lucky and find an excellent therapist or family member willing to give 110% to help them out, but in general the path to healing in this area winds up a solitary effort. You have to want it for yourself, and be willing to face the possibility of no one else understanding your situation. If your experience is anything like mine, there will be many days when there is no one there to pick you up when you fall down, and that's when you have to be your own best friend and pick yourself up. Learning to love and respect yourself and making your own well being and health a priority in your life is probably the best thing you can do overall.
My words might seem cold, but this mode of thinking is what's kept me alive for this long.
***I suppose I should add the disclaimer that quitting your meds, especially quitting them cold turkey, can be very dangerous. I got horrible withdrawals when I did it. I'm not telling you to quit your meds, but I'm also not telling you to forget the possibility of quitting them. Ultimately it is a personal decision.
I know that what I did about it is not for everyone. I quit all the pills and threw my entire life into gaining the self-honesty and self-discipline needed to manage my symptoms without chemical aid. In time I learned new, abstract ways of thinking that allow me to maintain my functionality. Basically, I am able to go to work, stay out of the mental hospital and present myself as a relatively normal person. People who meet me have no idea I struggle with constant mood swings, crippling anxiety and occasional hallucinations and delusional/paranoid thinking. It is a battle I get up and fight every day, and every day those efforts are usually challenged in some way. There are still times that I feel like it is too much, that I am going to fail and lose my mind entirely, and worst of all is the crushing guilt I feel over being this way, as if dealing with these issues makes me wrong or less somehow. It's not easy, and I'm not cured, but to me putting on the boxing gloves every morning was a better alternative to taking pills that were ruining my life in every way imaginable.
I don't know nearly enough about your situation to tell you what you should do. Ultimately it is your choice what you can and cannot sacrifice on the road toward mental health. In my experience, the world generally looks cruelly upon the mentally ill. Some people get lucky and find an excellent therapist or family member willing to give 110% to help them out, but in general the path to healing in this area winds up a solitary effort. You have to want it for yourself, and be willing to face the possibility of no one else understanding your situation. If your experience is anything like mine, there will be many days when there is no one there to pick you up when you fall down, and that's when you have to be your own best friend and pick yourself up. Learning to love and respect yourself and making your own well being and health a priority in your life is probably the best thing you can do overall.
My words might seem cold, but this mode of thinking is what's kept me alive for this long.
***I suppose I should add the disclaimer that quitting your meds, especially quitting them cold turkey, can be very dangerous. I got horrible withdrawals when I did it. I'm not telling you to quit your meds, but I'm also not telling you to forget the possibility of quitting them. Ultimately it is a personal decision.
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