01-12-2017, 04:15 AM
Just found this old thread and thought i give it a bump:
I used to (and many times still do) struggle a lot with forgiving myself.
On a superficial level all would be fine, but regularly there would issues arise where i would critizize or judge myself to the extreme, unable to forgive.
I found out some (for me) helpful things:
Forgiving others was way easier for me, than forgiving myself (maybe because i would often set unrealistily high standards for myself, on the deepest level).
I found in forgiving others, i forgive the part of myself, that i judge so heavily and would not even allow to perceive in myself.
After some forgiving others, it would become easier to forgive myself.
Forgiving comes in stages. I would forgive something and two years later find that deeper layers of the same subject arise, which had to be forgiven.
I find it almost impossible ( in retrospect) to forgive something (talking about forgiving others here)as long as i didnt at least to a degree have worked through the emotions that were caused by the otherself.
For example, i would be able to forgive rape to a degree ( i thought it was complete forgiveness), but when the actual emotions of those traumatic experiences started to surface, i realized, that i actually didnt really forgive and would for quite some time be in a state of complete unforgiveness.
I think, a constant "practice" is necessary, at least for me.
I would start with forgiving those little things that arent ultimately too important.
I would start to become more and more willing to face the emotions, after a while it would be easier to forgive.
And ultimately, at some point i found a place of complete innocence deep in me. When i reached this, i realized everyone at the very core is completely innocent.
Its just unconsciousness at play.
Unfortunately i am regularly losing this for extended periods of time, then i am pretty unforgiving
But i know itis there, i know it is the truth and i hope it will spread more and more in my life
I used to (and many times still do) struggle a lot with forgiving myself.
On a superficial level all would be fine, but regularly there would issues arise where i would critizize or judge myself to the extreme, unable to forgive.
I found out some (for me) helpful things:
Forgiving others was way easier for me, than forgiving myself (maybe because i would often set unrealistily high standards for myself, on the deepest level).
I found in forgiving others, i forgive the part of myself, that i judge so heavily and would not even allow to perceive in myself.
After some forgiving others, it would become easier to forgive myself.
Forgiving comes in stages. I would forgive something and two years later find that deeper layers of the same subject arise, which had to be forgiven.
I find it almost impossible ( in retrospect) to forgive something (talking about forgiving others here)as long as i didnt at least to a degree have worked through the emotions that were caused by the otherself.
For example, i would be able to forgive rape to a degree ( i thought it was complete forgiveness), but when the actual emotions of those traumatic experiences started to surface, i realized, that i actually didnt really forgive and would for quite some time be in a state of complete unforgiveness.
I think, a constant "practice" is necessary, at least for me.
I would start with forgiving those little things that arent ultimately too important.
I would start to become more and more willing to face the emotions, after a while it would be easier to forgive.
And ultimately, at some point i found a place of complete innocence deep in me. When i reached this, i realized everyone at the very core is completely innocent.
Its just unconsciousness at play.
Unfortunately i am regularly losing this for extended periods of time, then i am pretty unforgiving
But i know itis there, i know it is the truth and i hope it will spread more and more in my life
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