have you ever experienced Unity?

[Agua del Cielo]

I first experienced myself as The One ,Creator, God whatever you call it on MDMA.
It is completely impossible to describe this. But i was very unwilling to come back to my current incarnation. My "sitter" had to work really hard to get me nack, it took several hours.
Even After the effect of the substance ended, it would be in a state where i couldnt speak any sentence containing the word "I" for around four days.
My very identity had completely dissolved (for a while).
I would fall in state of deep depression afterwards, because i couldnt stand the comparison between my normal state and the god-experience. I thought, maybe i will never experience this again.
Three months later, i had another experience such as this, this time no substamces involved but using trance-inducing sounds.
The experience seemed differemt this time, but again, there was only one, only unity.
This made me relax a whole lot, since i realized "probably it will occur more often".

Next time was on lsd, maybe half a year later. This time, the experience was even more different. Where there was only "consciousness" in my first experience, this time i would experience "being".
I spent millions of years in it, although it was maybe and hour in this world, then i would answer and question and let myself fall once more into "being" for millions of years.

After this experience, i realized, that i experienced the same "thing" each time, the creator. But i realized that my consciousness could only hold an infinite tiny portion of it. And each time i would remember a different tiny portion.

These experiences would occur more and more often, sometimes using substamces, sometimes without, sometimes when my heart was so moved that it would ever expand until all exploded into oneness.
For quite some time these experiences would occur on a almost regular basis.

At some point i became frustrated, falling back into my "normal" state afterwards. I really had a problem with everyday live, i wanted to have this as my normal state
And, although i have been on the "healing route" already for quite some time, i realized that the unhealed issues in me are what prevents me from experiencing higher consciousness.
I realized, as long as there are so many unhealed emotions in me, i would maybe experience unity every once in a while but fall back into a miserable life again.
So, just in vase anybody wondered why i so relentlessly stress the utmost importance of healing, this is why

I have to add, i am very grateful for being a part of a community where i can speak so freely about such experiences. I only shared this with very few people so far ( for obvious reasons).
Thank you all!