Loving someone more than you love yourself

[Minyatur]

Glow:
Synchronicity, the feeling of throwing up... I can relate.
It all ended two days ago for me, the other person decided to walk away, I would've continued in that hole, I spent days in my dark room in pain, I meditated, contemplated, fasted, each time of heartbreak a new me was born, it was a challenge but my faith in love is stronger than darkness and/or illusion, I wasn't hurting anybody but myself.

I went through this 3 times with the same person and the last time was the day I first tried magic mushrooms and started my quest of the divine more intensely. Same thing for me also, I would've dealt with it however unwell the other person was and for however long. Would've kept at it focusing on the happier moments while the other focused on what hurts them.

Best advise I can give is to not seek to overcome how you feel but express it in full. I found my own sorrow beautiful on so many occasions, how many times I thought it was beautiful for me to feel this hurt and vulnerable, to care so much for someone. Mushrooms accelerated the process and at some point I changed and realized I won't feel the same for this same person anymore, however beautiful I can believe their soul to be. I thought if that day came I would be sad but when it did I wasn't sad.

I think I saw a truly great mirror of selflessness for myself but now realize that it remained a shackle in which I would've never found my highest potential and that it prevented me from truly being who I am or rather from finding/exploring who i am truly am.