Determining where I come from

[Minyatur]

I completely agree! Looking within is the most resonant answer to me here. All that's been shared is helpful though

How do I do what you're suggesting? I've heard about this technique but it was done with a hypnotherapist and that's not something that interests me.

When you feel confident and with faith in your ability, close your eyes and hold a focus upon this moment with knowledge that it is there within you for you to reach, upon your desire to perceive yourself before your birth and in silence allow what separates you from this moment to fade away, for all barriers and the world to vanish from around you so that you become one with this moment and live it once more.

That's how I'd describe the how to without any form of help. I personally explored myself much with psychedelics and one of my few salvia trips showed me the moment of my birth. It felt like it was happening because I was so much one with the moment, only with a review did I perceive it was a memory. I saw myself walk-in my body in an hospital, I saw myself alone in some kind of bed confused and I saw a nurse that I tried to reach to without any sucess, this made my entire throat chakra close upon itself in a straight line from bottom to top in a kind of emotion I'd describe as "I don't want to have a need to reach for others". This has affected my entire life but it is kind of hard to not perceive how it was a timing I chose to shape my life, because of this moment I've always been someone without any great need of others, never been the one to reach for others, nor to seek friends although I've been sought by them, always was one to be well with just myself. Apparently my father found disheartening that as a child I never had any need to play with him and was always well on my own.

So perceiving my birth allowed me to see where I came from and also my oldest and most deeply rooted blockage.