(03-11-2017, 03:36 PM)Coordinate_Apotheosis Wrote: Now that you mention it, I think you're right, and further, maybe its hateful of me to view expression of hate as hateful. There's a difference between being hateful and pointing out you hate something, you're right, and thank you for pointing it out to me.
I am blind in many ways, it can be disorienting trying to understand something without the direct experiences that associate that understanding.
I think dismissive in the apathetic sense should be met with an open gesture to teach the dismissive people. They may be dismissing these prevalent issues because they do not fully or deeply understand the importance of such issues.
I do see a bias of hate towards the feminine D:
I see quite clearly because I used to have it and in small ways still do. It shone in my last post when I angrily asked if SMC felt we were equals as woman and man and felt her post was mean in ways. But at the end of it, I still understood at least in sympathy. Decades of abuse would make a very strong wall, I shouldn't be chipping at it...
I'm sorry SMC. I was out of line...
I really think I need to go back and change up how I explain something.
For every man abused and woman abused, we are given a trigger. I don't want to pull this trigger, however I do not see any way to discharge the emotional pain than to feel the trigger be pulled, and not kick back in recoil from the distaste of hate. Sort of like a rock that doesn't roll when moved. I was hoping to point out to everyone, not just SMC or Jade that to feel hate and express feeling this is one way to handle things. I'm more a believer that mirroring isn't as useful as being transparent in the hopes of healing and disarming those triggers that make us feel hate.
As in, don't point out how hateful it is if its obvious, instead why not let that hate go through you, and be forgiving anyway? You don't need to be gentle or calm in this if you don't want to, perhaps showing the intensity of emotion you feel while forgiving is helpful too, as it shows those who are hurtful that you are stronger than they degrade you down to be, and you are better than they would have others believe of you (looking at you SMC). That you are just as capable as anyone or any man in being a better being.
So I think I failed in expressing that. I believe we should be transparent to those feelings and make movements to disarm the trigger and not be recoiled by it.
I think we all are capable of hatred even if we hide or suppress it very well, I have yet to see a man or woman who didn't have such issue or didn't hate some aspect of the opposite sex OR even their own. I feel hated very very, veryveryvery extremely vividly having been so deeply submerged in it for so long. I do feel those energies in this thread, albeit they do not approach bigotry or irrationality, even if I initially feel such as a man on this subject lacking a female first hand perspective and understanding. But I'm aware of this and try to hold off judgment to better see how and why they have their views. I am blind, I really don't want to be anymore...
First I'm not sure why you keep seeing our reactions as hate. Jades exact words to me if I can rudely quote was "exasperated" me it was similar annoyance/frustration/sadness/even some anger but hate isnt really part of my life.
How could I hate that which I have the potential to be? Ignorant, close minded, willfully blind with wounds of my own that drive a different direction than the ones in the life I currently live. Being fed up is not hate.
The only time I thought I hated someone, it was actually just sad and a feeling of betrayal. I'd say under my breath "I hate you" but quite honestly they were the person I loved the most. That is the only hate I have felt in at least 20 years and it wasn't hate at all, felt like it but I was just burying my love and sadness in something that was less turned inward. I'm so uncomfortable with dishonesty I couldn't even lie to myself so moments later would silenty admit to myself how deeply I loved them. No hate really.
c.a Wrote:It is a very sad thing that we judge a person's value by their attractiveness. I'm not very attractive overall and I recognize both men and women do this, but I do feel like men are the majority perpetuaters in this and the ones who initially imbued it in everyone else.I agree and it's funny how people try to say well it's biological as if that says it should continue, well picking a powerful mate and the one that can provide for offspring best is also biological if you look at the animal kingdom so why is one ok to continue while females are expected to move past such pettiness?
Attractiveness shouldn't determine a person's value...I say that desperately as someone who feels valued very little for not being a more pleasant male form.
Glow, you're never going to be garbage and anyone who's made you feel such ways aren't people I think you should bother with.
Are we really accepting the lowest form of ourselves as permanent?
Are we not evolving in mind, heart and soul? maybe it's time the heart leads for a change.
c.a Wrote:In that same light I don't blame Jade or SMC for not bothering with me, I just feel pretty crappy that I hurt them in the exact way I was trying not to...sounds like you have been unlucky to be around shallow people. I can not say it's going to change fast but people are changing. Also you never know what is around the corner. I love sexually balanced people. Whatever your balance own it. Let it shine.
I've lately been in denial of my own homosexual experiences throughout my life. Most women used me, many men used me. I fit the derogatory 'femboy' remarks men use to degrade less manly men. I'm more of a gentle passionate person into body contact and cuddling and intimacy than sex. Half the time now a days because of porn I hardly feel aroused, but I do feel that warm fuzzy want to just hold someone and 'be' with them, to give a person a back rub and a foot rub and a neck and shoulder rub and to make them feel relaxed and at home and completely wanted without any tension.
I just want to make people melt in satisfaction v-v
To have that big grin while going 'Mmmmmm'.
Sadly I never get to do this anymore, no one wants these things by an unattractive person.
I don't know if I'm trans or just bi. I have felt like a girl in the body of a boy since as long as I can remember, since before even age 5, I was just always dominated by traits society calls feminine. I was even considered gay or in the closet and I guess I look gay too apparently... Which led to really bad bullying, it didn't help I was getting fatter from the misery and suddenly had man tits that people would make fun of me for by calling me 'boobies'.
I like being fit because it's treating my vehicle with respect, and athleticism has always been something I enjoy. I also like making my mate smile so staying healthy is something that benefits both of us but not everyone is driven that way and hey one of my best friends has manboobs. Love is blind, he whines about it but I can't see it. He's beautiful to me. Don't be so hard on yourself.
c.a Wrote:Despite being a man, I feel directly the bias against the feminine, against how I am... I just feel it reduces the plight of women for me to admit this, that I somehow negate their suffering by saying I'm a man and suffer from this too... But perhaps it will help others see we're all able of being similar in unexpected ways...
I love the female energies, I often beat myself up for so long letting myself so easily see them in only sexual ways... don't think all men are the same. My bigotry severely damaged my image of myself, because in the end I was being bigoted towards myself and projecting it outwards on women. I do hate myself for not being a manly man, for being so womanly, it took a lot to accept that I am, a feminine guy... And I just wish I knew what to do with myself.
I don't think you are alone in this. Leadership vilified the feminine, we all have feminin sides, if you are taught to push away the feminine of course you will treat it harshly within yourself.
You are not weird just a part of the male psyche that has been hidden for a long time. Get comfortable with yourself. There is only beauty there.
c.a Wrote:Thank you for your response. I see now I'm being...Insensitive and blunt and rude. I'll take my leave of the topic discussions except to mention now and again compassion and forgiveness are very important here.
I am sorry Jade. I am sorry SMC.
I didn't mean to be so hurtful.
Again you are being way to hard on yourself. I'd say no to insensitive, rude or blunt and just go with honest and looking for insight you didn't have. You may have miss-stepped but didn't we all? That's kind of the nature of authenticity it's not just the pretty edited picture but the entire mess.
I don't think you need to leave the conversation. Please be a bit nicer to yourself.
If we are one go a bit easier on me while I am you.
Ps I hope abbreviating your name was not offensive. I'm on my phone and it's a lot of letters to type then have autocorrect change.
nothing personal.