The consequence of turning femanine equality into an ideology

[Jade]

Won't those with anger at him forgive him?  Not so much for him as much as for yourselves?  You may find you don't need any real reason to forgive an abuser except a desire to let go and move on from their abuse.  If they can't hurt you, if they can't harm you, they become powerless.  (Though if they become physical you should get the flying f--- out of there because NO ONE deserves that s---!)

What makes physical abuse more harmful than mental/emotional abuse?

Indeed men have oppressed women. Yet when they are at their most vulnerable, the most pliable, as mere boys, they are at the mercy of their mothers, and latter of whom were abused by their own mothers. I'm afraid there is a horrific cycle at play that no one has the courage to face. Least of all, women. "Men don't give birth."

What makes fathers completely absolved from the responsibility of contributing to raising their children? This is what I don't understand.

And for what it's worth, earth_spirit, we probably have more in common than you think. My mother (and sister) were my primary abusers until about 5 years ago or so. My father was secondary. My mother is currently in prison because she has made some extremely poor decisions in her life. My father supported her by working and he also supported my stepmother after that. And my maternal grandmother is a legit narcissist so yeah, we could say it started there at least. Her mother (my maternal great grandma) was one of the meanest ladies I've ever known. But my paternal grandmother was the only one who ever treated my kindly in my whole family. So, while I have seen and experienced the thread you are speaking of, I do not think it is at all the only thread that contributes to our reality. My father was not a victim in our house, my father was the rulekeeper. He controlled everything down to my haircuts. I wasn't allowed to dance or draw, because I was poor at the former and skilled at the latter. My mother didn't avoid work because she was lazy, she avoided work because my father didn't want his pretty wife leaving the house. He divorced my step mother for the same reason: She wanted to go to school/get a job and this threatened him.

So, I just have a very hard time viewing the world through the black and white lens that you see it that mothers are the sole perpetuation of the ills of our species. It seems you are looking at this from your very limited viewpoint. This may all be true about how your mother raised you, and some other people might also have had the same experience. But I actually think, from my perspective, most people have a rather positive experience of their mother (and father). I've actually always felt in the extreme minority and completely misunderstood by having such a crazy mother.