03-20-2017, 06:29 PM
(03-19-2017, 08:37 PM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: I'm going to zoom out here finally now that I am able to, and express some sincere empathy for the other side of the equation, which is definitely needed. It's in here, I promise, I just haven't expressed it yet.
Men in our society are victims, too....
Thank you sincerely for your acknowledgement of mens' pain. It is very rare that I hear women acknowledge it, even women I'm emotionally close to like my mother or significant other. I feel that just as womens' masculinity is threatening to men so too is mens' femininity threatening to women (in general). When I have tried to open up my emotions and pain to women in my life, after they have urgently sought to get me to open up emotionally, my true feelings have most often been met with apathy or even aversion.
The idea that at my core I could be so hurt, wounded, uncertain and afraid seemed to challenge their preconception of masculinity. They couldn't let me be hurt because then I would not longer someone who could fix their problems and defend them against all the scary abuses of the world. They wanted a champion to stop other men from being abusers. But they didn't want their champion himself to be vulnerable. Maybe they were afraid I'd devolve into an adult baby they'd have to take care of. I'm not sure but it's a sort of catch 22.
Men need to trust that an assertive woman won't be self indulgent. Women need to trust that a sensitive man can still be selfless.