Well love/wisdom wisdom/love is a work of balance that remains even in 6D. To me they find balance when wisdom is what is felt and are unbalanced when what is known and what is felt is not in harmony.
You know that all is One, yet you don't feel that all is One.
You know that all is Unity, yet you don't feel like anything is much united.
You know that others are you, yet you feel them as separate of your being.
You know there is no polarity, yet you feel stuck within its duality.
Etc.
Pondering the mechanics of existence and of unity is where I find my highest passionate drive, so I'd have a hard time seeing it as dissociating when it does more of opening my emotional body to passion when I've always been somewhat dispassionate in my life. I see this leaning as strongly programmed though and not really how I would identify soul-wise, more like the parameters of this particular incarnation for distilling the kind of essence I want to manifest in this world through my life as a temporary measure I desired to grow up through. The main factors the messed up my energitical body are two accidents I had as a child from falling from a height where I messed up the lower portion of my vertebral column in the red and orange ray area, the first was just hitting too hard the lower area whereas the second one I feel on a piece of metal that hit my vertebral column, it made me grow in a somewhat weird posture that is off. I went from a over-energitic chaotic Gemini storm which probably was strongly disliked by many many people to a person with a really really energitically still inner flow over the years progressively, I still get mind blown somewhen at how intense that went, its like I entertained a lifeless body with no inner presence yet I still never got much sick despite tons of unhealthy habits. Guess even a weak presence still had strenght somehow.
Now since like a few months I've been working on this somewhat daily but I find it quite hard to undo the red ray area physical disalignment. When I first opened my green ray in a psychedlic trip, I found a strong desire for a break (which this life is to me) which made me feel guilt toward my brothers and sisters lost in sorrow. I also found a very strong desire to be understood in why I needed this break and that its purpose is to emerge greater in my desire to be positive. Anyway I don't doubt I will transcend all these limitations whilst incaranted, a temporary measure they are like I said. I'm so used to a still inner state which is like a constant slight positive state, that I usually have quite some resistance to trigger willingly state changes although I do adapt very well to them and usually always find the experience positive. I also seem to have programmed little catalyst to trigger the opening and my incarnational plan instead seem built on an opening through conscious will and effort to work through the programmed layers of resistance that I set between myself and a purely open state.
I guess all of this does bring the question that if I am good at distilling energy, does this give me a responsability to do the most I can? Or would this be somewhat of a paradox to impose such a responsability upon my being, whereas to let it flow naturally toward that end could perhaps bring out greater positive results? I seem to lean toward the later, to find peace for myself first and to then extend this peace rather than acting out of not finding peace within to radiate this lack of peace outwardly. Another interesting aspect is that I found this life to be a cummulation of desires from past lives where I did bleed myself out in service.
I tend to think that what I wish for others I should wish for myself and I do not wish for others to torture themselves in a sense of duty but rather that they may experience, if it is what is desired, a most natural flow toward service.
You know that all is One, yet you don't feel that all is One.
You know that all is Unity, yet you don't feel like anything is much united.
You know that others are you, yet you feel them as separate of your being.
You know there is no polarity, yet you feel stuck within its duality.
Etc.
Pondering the mechanics of existence and of unity is where I find my highest passionate drive, so I'd have a hard time seeing it as dissociating when it does more of opening my emotional body to passion when I've always been somewhat dispassionate in my life. I see this leaning as strongly programmed though and not really how I would identify soul-wise, more like the parameters of this particular incarnation for distilling the kind of essence I want to manifest in this world through my life as a temporary measure I desired to grow up through. The main factors the messed up my energitical body are two accidents I had as a child from falling from a height where I messed up the lower portion of my vertebral column in the red and orange ray area, the first was just hitting too hard the lower area whereas the second one I feel on a piece of metal that hit my vertebral column, it made me grow in a somewhat weird posture that is off. I went from a over-energitic chaotic Gemini storm which probably was strongly disliked by many many people to a person with a really really energitically still inner flow over the years progressively, I still get mind blown somewhen at how intense that went, its like I entertained a lifeless body with no inner presence yet I still never got much sick despite tons of unhealthy habits. Guess even a weak presence still had strenght somehow.
Now since like a few months I've been working on this somewhat daily but I find it quite hard to undo the red ray area physical disalignment. When I first opened my green ray in a psychedlic trip, I found a strong desire for a break (which this life is to me) which made me feel guilt toward my brothers and sisters lost in sorrow. I also found a very strong desire to be understood in why I needed this break and that its purpose is to emerge greater in my desire to be positive. Anyway I don't doubt I will transcend all these limitations whilst incaranted, a temporary measure they are like I said. I'm so used to a still inner state which is like a constant slight positive state, that I usually have quite some resistance to trigger willingly state changes although I do adapt very well to them and usually always find the experience positive. I also seem to have programmed little catalyst to trigger the opening and my incarnational plan instead seem built on an opening through conscious will and effort to work through the programmed layers of resistance that I set between myself and a purely open state.
I guess all of this does bring the question that if I am good at distilling energy, does this give me a responsability to do the most I can? Or would this be somewhat of a paradox to impose such a responsability upon my being, whereas to let it flow naturally toward that end could perhaps bring out greater positive results? I seem to lean toward the later, to find peace for myself first and to then extend this peace rather than acting out of not finding peace within to radiate this lack of peace outwardly. Another interesting aspect is that I found this life to be a cummulation of desires from past lives where I did bleed myself out in service.
I tend to think that what I wish for others I should wish for myself and I do not wish for others to torture themselves in a sense of duty but rather that they may experience, if it is what is desired, a most natural flow toward service.