03-22-2017, 12:55 AM
(03-22-2017, 12:51 AM)sjel Wrote:(03-22-2017, 12:47 AM)Aion Wrote: Don't worry friend, you're not alone. It sounds to me like you are going through a very heavy Dark Night of the Soul. These tend to be the most challenging experiences of our lives but the upside is that once you pass through, and you will, you will discover new light that maybe needed some space that other thoughts were occupying.
https://www.eckharttolle.com/newsletter/october-2011
but it's not deep enough to be the deepest darkest. the hell deepens and deepens and continues down infinitely. i am barely scratching the surface of this hell. i am continuing spiralling broadening hell
therefore meaningless because i am not in the darkest of it yet. next time will be wrose. and next time even worse, and next time will be the worst, at which point i will kill myself due to complete and total lack of coherent thought. right now i can think. means it's not over yet. more hell to come.
You seem thoroughly convinced of that. So long as you are so convinced it will be exceedingly difficult to have it any other way for you are reinforcing the future.
Either you are going to sink to the bottom or you are going to muster the will to live. You know this, you see the path. So why just watch yourself fall?