Being institutionalized.

[Nicholas]

I have moved out prior, I'm aware of this rite.  I'm 24.

C_A, you are echoing my own experience at 24. The one I shared with you. Moving out is not necessarily the solution or issue, but there is a crisis that is making itself known. Your mom sounds more like a messenger but finds it very difficult to pass the message on in a compassionate manner. One of the most triggering forms of communication I have ever had is when somebody resorts to trying to frighten me. "Coercion through fear" is a more eloquent way of putting it, and I was in my late 30s before I was able to bypass the method and extract what was being communicated. Especially where family members are concerned!

  I want to create or design.  

Yes! Another similarity here is that if we are not busy being creative then we end up being miserable and depressed. What we create is not really important at all, but the process is essential for creative and highly open temperaments like you and I. This is something I am going through myself.

Hey Brother,

I had something very similar happen to me when I was 24. My mom called the emergency doctor because she was convinced I needed to be taken in. The context was a little different because I had been diagnosed with "drug induced psychosis" and was being monitored rather than sectioned. Two doctors gave me a visit and I explained to them that my mom was struggling with my own sudden transformation. The sudden realisation of my own inner power after quitting drugs had left her in a state of chaos as her own sense of identity was abruptly threatened. I was no longer dependent upon her and the sudden power shift caused her to panic. The doctors decided not to section me, but it was then that I realised I had a responsibility to parent my own mom. The ethics of remaining under her roof made the delicacy of our situation very vivid to me.

Diana's advice is brilliant. We do love and support you here, and I dearly hope you can use this opportunity to turn your attention towards what you are frightened of, and how you can turn your attention to it.

And through the process never forget that all is truly well. Big hugs!

(   )

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to end up parenting my Mom eventually.  I don't look forward to it.  I honestly...  Eh, sigh...

What am I truly frightened of?  It's stupid.

In the case of parenting my mom I was referring to showing compassion to somebody, who, in my darkest hours, showed me none  

No, you see, that's part of the problem here. Your fears are not stupid at all. There is no such bloody thing as a "stupid" fear. The notion that some fears are less valuable than other fears only impedes our journey towards self clarity. Morally scrupulous values need to be put to one side because they obscure and muddy our attempts to seek self acceptance. The reverberating gift of clarifying ourselves is better than any drug on the planet! The journey is soo worth it, but the blockades of self condemnation, imparted to us, need to be ruthlessly disrespected.

What is the atypical nightmare? It's the "monster in the closet", right? And so the monster represents what we are most frightened of and the closet represents where we put things that we don't want to wear or expose ourselves to. These "things" embarrass us, sure, but no hierarchy exists when it comes to evaluating which monster is more scarier than another.

It matters very much what you are frightened of!