03-29-2017, 03:13 PM
So, how much support did she have? Were you with her during these times?
Most people don't realize how much energy they acquire from being with another even if passively.
You think I can pull it off? That's lovely, I do too. But alone, my entire life. I don't know if its worth pulling off if that's what I have to look forward to.
Must be nice, having someone else no matter how or who they are.
I used to feel like I could move mountains when I was with my ex. I made it so far but even then...
I don't think there's much help to be had. You can't expect a kid to put together a car. Why would you expect them to do so with a life? Even with friends. If you don't ever teach them how to do it, they're just gonna have to piece it together on their own, and if they aren't even aware they need to, how f***** are they?
And when they find out they need to but its been so long and you don't even have all the pieces anymore, I'm just expected to love it or something?
Sigh. As far as I'm concerned, this universe is above my rationale, its 'Love' is too out there for me to rationalize with my human being.
All I see as Joe is a universe designed to hurt me to teach me. How do I take responsibility for that? What if I don't want to participate in this style of learning? Why is MY free will ignored? I don't want to perpetuate places like this but apparently I can't even kill myself to leave as a sign of protest. For a loving universe it does not care much for its illusions.
Taking responsibility is nice and all, and yet every time I do its like creation conspires to shut that s*** dooown.
What do you do when life itself seems designed to screw you the moment you try to break free of some incarnational catalytic lessons like abuse and subjugation and codependency?
Cause I'm pretty fed up with my life and I don't see any universal shits given, how am I supposed to think?
Don't take it personally the universe doesn't discriminate??
I do not understand, I know I'm not supposed to but doing anything when I don't know how to is one thing when its only so complicated, but with something as convuluted, twisted, and backwards as life...That's actually cruel in my mind to do to a being who hasn't a clue.
And, who cares?
None of its real anyways, right? Just an illusion so what does its creator care what it does inside such a creation?
I feel like I'm teetering on a fence of manifestation or potentiation. Life or death.
I lack the elegance to describe myself adequately so I'm just going to stop.
You can try to be fatherly but I highly doubt it'll do anything bit make me defensive...
Siiigh. An entite life with abuse themes in it. I hope one day the One Infinite finds a way to exclude me from any and all places like this... I'd rather be a guide than a human...
Most people don't realize how much energy they acquire from being with another even if passively.
You think I can pull it off? That's lovely, I do too. But alone, my entire life. I don't know if its worth pulling off if that's what I have to look forward to.
Must be nice, having someone else no matter how or who they are.
I used to feel like I could move mountains when I was with my ex. I made it so far but even then...
I don't think there's much help to be had. You can't expect a kid to put together a car. Why would you expect them to do so with a life? Even with friends. If you don't ever teach them how to do it, they're just gonna have to piece it together on their own, and if they aren't even aware they need to, how f***** are they?
And when they find out they need to but its been so long and you don't even have all the pieces anymore, I'm just expected to love it or something?
Sigh. As far as I'm concerned, this universe is above my rationale, its 'Love' is too out there for me to rationalize with my human being.
All I see as Joe is a universe designed to hurt me to teach me. How do I take responsibility for that? What if I don't want to participate in this style of learning? Why is MY free will ignored? I don't want to perpetuate places like this but apparently I can't even kill myself to leave as a sign of protest. For a loving universe it does not care much for its illusions.
Taking responsibility is nice and all, and yet every time I do its like creation conspires to shut that s*** dooown.
What do you do when life itself seems designed to screw you the moment you try to break free of some incarnational catalytic lessons like abuse and subjugation and codependency?
Cause I'm pretty fed up with my life and I don't see any universal shits given, how am I supposed to think?
Don't take it personally the universe doesn't discriminate??
I do not understand, I know I'm not supposed to but doing anything when I don't know how to is one thing when its only so complicated, but with something as convuluted, twisted, and backwards as life...That's actually cruel in my mind to do to a being who hasn't a clue.
And, who cares?
None of its real anyways, right? Just an illusion so what does its creator care what it does inside such a creation?
I feel like I'm teetering on a fence of manifestation or potentiation. Life or death.
I lack the elegance to describe myself adequately so I'm just going to stop.
You can try to be fatherly but I highly doubt it'll do anything bit make me defensive...
Siiigh. An entite life with abuse themes in it. I hope one day the One Infinite finds a way to exclude me from any and all places like this... I'd rather be a guide than a human...