Control, asking for help and healing codes

[Agua del Cielo]

I had a great experience yesterday that i would like to share with you!

The background is about control.
Many years ago i realized ( with the help of teachers who always said that to me) that actually we are connected all the time with higher realms as well as our deepest subconsciousness but its for control reason that we dont experience it.
If have worked many years on my control patterns, starting with intellectual control and finding ever deeper patterns of control.

For quite some time it wasnt my biggest issue anymore until recently.
I went on a mushroom trip in january and after the substance showed its effect, all of a sudden all my control was gone.
I could almost "see" it, actually, it was like i could see that where before control was, there was nothing left.
It was pretty scary, a lot of fear arose and after i faced it for some time, i ended up in a very old situation where i experienced the deepest pain i encountered so far.

Now, this has been more than two months ago.
But i recently realized, that my inner journeys werent as deep as they used to be anymore.
As we just had a mushroom thread and i wrote about control, i thought about it and assumed, that probably my control system was "reactivated" to a higher degree as a result of my mushroom experience.
So i tried various means to lessen the need for control for a while.

Three days ago i remembered a teacher saying to me (maybe 10 years ago) in a retreat "I dont know what you did, but it was obviously very effective. I perceive you as considerably less controlled".
I never really thought about it, because i couldnt remember doing anything special.
Now i remembered, i have been doing healing codes intensively around that time, especially in regards to control.
I figured, that could have been the reason.

So i was doing a lot of healing codes the last two days.

Last night i went on an inner journey and wanted to better understand my recent control.
For some reason i felt the need to ask for help.
I realized, that i cant dissolve my control using the part that controls. So i asked for help from "higher instances" and was ready for surrender.
I asked for help whoever arose in my mind, my higher self, babaji, krishna, jesus, then the plants in our house, then all plants, animals, planet earth, then humanity, ever expanding, and i asked my girlfriend to provide the energy that would be most helpful for me right now.

At some point i asked the whole creation for help, then all of a sudden i "realized" who is was speaking to, how unimaginably vast creation is.My consciousness expanded more and more and suddenly exploded, i was talking to creation, suddenly i experienced the whole creation.
I experienced the totality of creation from "inside".
Then it shifted and consciousness expanded even more into infinity.
I was now experiencing creation from inside and simultaneously viewing it from outside, then i experienced existence as it experiences infinite creations all simultaneously.
Then after a while i became very hungry and consciousness went back to normal.

That was a nice ride

And it showed me a few practical things:
How much i can benefit from looking into control issues
How effective it is to ask for help and surrender my little ego to a higher instance
And i was impressed at how helpful it was to do healing codes for just two days to get rid of the control that i was dealing with at this time