Thanks a lot to both of you for that discussion. Control is my main issue so this speaks volumes to me and brings new light. I'm going to need to ponder this for a while.
Long story short of my experience:
OCD starts at 23 -> Total relinquishing of control at 30 -> 3 months of bliss/ecstasy/spiritual awakening -> hospital -> reverting to control -> depression -> 4 years to understand -> now
Long story short of my experience:
OCD starts at 23 -> Total relinquishing of control at 30 -> 3 months of bliss/ecstasy/spiritual awakening -> hospital -> reverting to control -> depression -> 4 years to understand -> now