Help...

[Jade]

Van, have you ever heard of "Grey rock"? It's a technique that abuse victims can use to pacify their abuser.

Your mother appears to enjoy saying things that will rile you up. Maybe it's time you call her bluff and quit acting like what she says is the law that will be handed down. A lot of people have success in these situations by cutting off the supply of drama - instead of you responding like this, feeling totally distraught and lost and dependent upon your mother, you can teach yourself to have a less dramatic/emotional response, or ideally, no emotional response (at least, not in front of her) - if she doesn't get her drama from you, she has to get it elsewhere.

So that's why they call it "grey rock". You attempt to become about as interesting as a rock to the person inciting you. Anyway, I'm not sure if this is feasible in your situation (sometimes mind games like this will aggravate an abuser even more) but for those that seem to be doing is mostly unconsciously (like your mother) - just changing the "output" response from you might change what she tries to "input".

I tried googling for you and found this article. I only read the first part of it (it's long!) but it seems to be pretty legit. (If you read the whole thing and find something objectionable, let me know) http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2016/05/0...rspective/