Help...

[Glow]

Started a short regiment of detoxing with some spring water infused with lemon, lime, and cucumber, courtesy of Earth_Spirit, to help get the weed out of my system a bit faster so I'm not so anxious doing a drug test for a bigger department stores.

Muddling through...  I have a hard time doing so...So I might come back here occasionally crying all pathetic like looking for more encouragement to not give up.

I have to admit, doing things alone is exponentially harder for me than if I had someone to turn around to and talk with about the experience, even if just to vent..  The idea of being alone my whole life is kind of crippling, so I really need to stay away from those thoughts.

Its hard for me too. I always thought I was supposed to have been a twin growing up, I've joked even a conjoined twin would have been fine. Likely it is a social memory complex thing hold over. However you can come here every day, and we will take your frayed nerves and put them back where they go.

Its hard for everyone though. I think Hollywood does a huge disservice portraying adult life/work as nontramatic. lol As you get older you see why everyone is so reactive, utilizing bad coping mechanisms(alcohol, affairs, manipulation, anger), most people are barely keeping it together.

I've known people for decades who made me feel defective because they had their $#it so together only to find out that behind closed doors they can barely function. I think that is partly why we are here. We go in "muddle through" do our best to be transparent, keep our light lit, bring that light among them.

It might be your path that when working you end up meeting those people or a person who makes you feel not alone. I mean don't count on it but its how most adult friendships are formed.

I met one of my immediate soul group through this business venture. I was 32 when I met him and had never met anyone who felt like home but he did/does. We have had a rocky rough connection that is teaching us both a lot about ourselves but to some degree we can vent and build each other up regarding the work stuff.

We discovered we had an opportunity to live in the same 200 people tiny small town when we were 17 so could have met then too but I had my Christ consciousness awakening at 17 so I was likely not ready for the awakening he triggered.

Anyways I'm off topic but the point was you are not alone, physically sure but we are here, and you never know what gifts(people or otherwise) will come along your path. Working together is a great was to build comradery and bond. You already know how to meditate so utilize that skill to not lose your cool when people behave without integrity at work. "Forgive them, they know not what they do" - big J