Doing something wrong to prevent greater evil?

[Cainite]

I have to go with jeremy here. I have been smoking lots of weed in the last couple of years. And I've just taken a serious break. It's been 2 months now. What I can say is that the drug is never to blame in itself, it's what we do with it. And just like jeremy I used to feel so intensely emotional that over time it became hard to be in social situations without severely closing on my emotions. So much that I couldn't feel them either. Once I started the break I became very emotional, almost incapable of balancing anything and integrating everything that surrounded me. I was so confused and I was feeling an immense degree of seperation with everything. I was unable to see things within, even though I knew very much from an intellectual standpoint that I was one with the external and that it was reflecting my inner state. Even thouh I would process that easily just a few weeks before. I became angry, uneasy and it was hard to relax. Only just in the past 2 weeks and even moreso in the last few days I feel like my consciousness is slowly becoming more united and I see things more clearly, I relate more with the external. And I still don't think the weed is a bad thing. But it is necessary to recognize that the body needs time to cleanse. Exercizing also helps. Also, taking a break helps realizing certain things like what is your emotional state when you use it. For me weed has been helping me break all my barriers when I started using it, and I had a lot. But I also recognize now that using too often take away my habiliy to do that by myself, and so it's harder to know oneself if you do not have enough "sober time".

As for the initial question, I suppose your concerns means you care to be a good person. What does that mean for you? What do you consider good or bad behaviors in others? From there start acting out of these beliefs. If you firmly believe you are a good person and act in a way that reflect your beliefs, you will manifest goodness. Ultimately, perceiving someone as evil is a projection of one's own fear and lack of understanding of someone else. No one is truely evil in it's true meaning, but some do believe they are, and it prevents them from improving with time. It's convenient but not very fullfillimg.

Yeah.. that's basically what I tried to say. I have relied on THC for at least seven years. I stopped when I showed mental illness symptoms. and after two years I was a lot better. then I started using it with tramadol pills 4 months ago and now I'm quitting again. and yeah I do work out.. I'm childishly infatuated by shaolin monks and practice combat heavily when I'm in the mood.


btw I'm 27 now.

I don't believe I'm good or bad. cuz I've been both. sometimes extremely noble and sometimes the reverse..
two days ago when I was struggling with the belief that I'm evil I asked my higher self to advise me and in meditation I was shown 3 memories in which I defended the weak and risked getting my own ass beat or even knifed by a gang.

I believe I was sto and I lost my path in this incarnation.