My mental health is rapidly deteriorating

[Diana]

Imbalance isn't liveable - not long term. Strive for balance.

Tai Chi, Aikido, Yoga, running, swimming, horses... being with creatures - whatever activity to get back into your wild, instinctual, sober, animal Self...

Drugs have 'tamed' you.. sedated and confused you... taken you on some amazing journeys but now are taking you down dead-end streets...  you've assumed what you're doing is only a good thing.

I don't know as much as SMC about you Sjel, but I agree with the above. It seems common for those compelled to evolve spiritually to forget or deny the importance of the physical. We are physical beings at least while we are here. We are also more than that, but everything affects everything else.

The above bolded is excellent advice, not just for you but for everyone. Sometimes, just going to one yoga class is enough to dissipate the buildup of emotional charge. And grounding yourself in nature is vital. We wear shoes all the time; live in houses. Stand on the ground barefooted. Instead of being locked continually in the family dynamics and the roles we unwittingly assume, break the pattern by taking care of self with common sense—exercise and nature.