Alright. I'm 'awakening,' which in my case is EQUIVALENT to 'going insane.'

[JustAThought]

My first (and so far only) awakening experience was a little more than half a year ago. For a while before that, I had an emotionally bad time, hating life for the most part and having quite a few breakdowns. Until then I didnt have any clue about anything spiritual at all and thought it was all supersticious and unreal.
Im lucky I found this community, and when I started reading the Ra material for the first time in my life it felt like my heart would understand things that my mind couldnt. It was so beautiful, yet so horrible. I was stuck in between blissfullness and a mountain of fear. I would understand things in my dreams, wake up with clarity beyond what I could ever tell, yet at the next moment it would feel like I was going totally insane, and fear would take over. (I came to think that the actual feeling of insanity may just be projected by the mind because it is unable to grasp what is going on. )

For me it was important not to let the spiritual journey dictate my life. Its important, but staying grounded and going about life is just what we have to do as well. Its hard to find the balance, yet it helps a lot because you have the days experience to work with, to analyze and to see whats needed in terms of balacing based on that. And those experiences are grabbable, down-to-earth and here in the now. They are certainly not as powerful as meditating on the unity of all beings and thoughts, or other high-level topics that we all love so much, but it is what helps step by step, day by day.

Accepting negativity has been a major task and issue for me as well. I think its the most important part of our journey here, because there obv. is just way too much of it that we have unconsiously sucked in.

Its always a good thing to remind your self that all is divinely taken care of, and there is truly nothing to fear. I know that thought so often fails because the analytic mind cannot grasp it, yet there IS nothing to fear. Worst case scenario, we die... yet we have unlimited more chances to get it right (even though there is no wrong after all, so we do always get it right anyways )