Episode #62

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A transcript for this episode will be posted once it is available.

Thank you for this guys. I'm happy to transcribe this for you if you like, since I'll probably be listening to it 100 times more than anyone else will and will likely transcribe it anyway as I generally note-take everything that interests me, and it will help me as well to really take in these concepts that I had been blocking as well.

For most of the past 3 years, I've been thinking & trying to convince myself that the 'delusional part' of the experience was the seeing the creator in everything, and that's the part that I've been trying to "beat-down and not make true" because of what transpired. (The normal mainstream stuff that transpired while I was 'in that state', was stuff also to work on, that obvious self-work was needed or the trauma wouldn't of manifested, but it was the shock of 'creating' this trauma whilst in a state of 'working for a higher-purpose' hehe.. but anyway.. I'm in a more grounded state now and understand the importance of balance which I did not have nor desire)

It now seems like (and I've been contemplating this a lot more since joining the forum recently and being able to finally share this "crazy" version that I wasn't able to voice in my "daily life" because it's not how everyone else around me sees the world), that the part of seeing the creator in all was not the delusional part - but I've been staying away from that deliberately because I didn't want to go 'loopy' again by living in a world that noone else seems to be able to tap into. I removed "see the creator in everything" except for a secret part of my soul that resonates with it which didn't allow me to completely let it go.

Definitely had a lot of resonance with what you guys mentioned on the podcast and thank you so much for providing your guidance because this is just not mainstream daily life for me.. this is not the kind of thing I can talk about with anyone around me and so it has been suppressed and I really want to step back in
I wish this way of talking about things was my "normal" instead of my "secret"