Some Experiences Reading Chakras

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Energy cleansing for me didn't do really anything, even a minimum of four hours of meditation didn't help alleviate the symptoms much, overall I think the problem was just a side effect of misusing whatever it is I do.  Sort of like 'hey you are me and I am you, w-wait, w-who am I again?'

I thought it was other people's energy sticking to mine or something, but it wasn't the case of external energy sticking to me so much as, I just, became the person a little bit too much and needed to pull back into myself.  Thankfully all the issues, false memories, delusions and whatnot disappeared when I stopped doing the readings.

It is completely and totally surreal when you look at something, like your name, and don't identify with it at all.  It's pretty scary, sort of like, 'is this it, am I losing my mind?'.

I'm already anxious enough as it is, I don't need strange things like that happening to me too.  Like, I'm already mentally ill, doing psychic readings for people, then suddenly disassociating completely from my life.  If I told a counselor that I'd be institutionalized!

So, moderation.  That's the lesson I learned, and thankfully nothing...Permanent happened, I hope lol...

Insightful Mirrors (sounds like a band name or something) is actually a pretty accurate way to describe what I pretty much experienced.  I look at a chakra, I see myself in it, and have to discern what's a reflection and what's the other person.  In fact so many of the readings I did corresponded to my own immediate day to day experiences that for a while I did think I was just pulling up every day experiences and equating them to stuff everyone experiences, and then strangely enough, despite believing that, I still came across occurrences that actually taught me about myself rather than the other way around.  Typically I learn a great deal about someone, unspoken at least, when I read them, but then when I suddenly am reading myself in another, it's, just surreal.

Sort of like a page out of Alice in Wonderland.  Only it's Joe in Chakraland!

If I might offer my opinion regards your recent circumstances, and a somewhat similar result from an experience I had.  I knew a girl who was my best friend for a bit, I apologized to her after we dated and broke up, and tried again to be her friend.  Long story short, she took some of my furniture and disappeared without a trace.  The anger was, for real lol...
I found out that my anger wasn't even directed at her anymore, it was actually directed at me, for being so stupid to believe that she actually was my friend, or that she cared about me, or to believe anything nice she had said to me.  It taught me a very important question that seems to be making it's way undeniably clear in my life; Do I trust women anymore?

I'm still struggling with the answer, and I just keep telling myself we're more similar than we are different.  Which also is why I question if I trust men anymore...  Which just, devolves into this downward spiral of questioning if people are worth trusting at all, and it gets depressing.

Honestly, my problems I think are manifesting as mental issues, emotional instability, rage, despair, frustration, disbelief and confusion, but mostly anxiety.  Extreme amounts of anxiety actually.  After finally getting to talk to a few counselors and all of them trying to put me on anti anxiety medications, all of which just make me want to sleep, I realized that this isn't a problem that I'm going to find a solution to through the only available psychiatrists and counselors I had.  Overall I've come to terms with the realizations that I might just be, one of those...  Stupidly smart people with no guidance to get me anywhere...  I do test on the Myer's Briggs personality score as INTJ, which only ~1% of the population is (unless that's changed since 2009), and on my astrology charts I lack a Midheaven placement so, I'm pretty much a person with no direction in life.

So, I just try to do what I can to not be overwhelmed with the sense of failure I often feel.  The least I could do is try to be a decent person.  I just want people to care, you know?  If we all just cared about how each other felt, even if we were honest in sometimes mean ways, friends bust each other's balls, if you'll excuse that figure of speech, so I think it's important that we merit some forgiveness to everyone and ourselves, for our failures especially, even if they do seem harrowing and towering.

But maybe you're right, maybe there is a right way and I just haven't found it.  I just know that those chakra readings made me feel so good, and then I suddenly began recognizing myself not recognizing myself and it scared the crap out of me, so, I stopped, even though I didn't want to.

I hope you're right, that these side effects are manageable or can even be negated with a proper routine or ritual or way of doing things.

I will make a somewhat perverted mention though, if everyone will forgive the statement, but I did find that the energetic body is waaaaay waaaaaaaAAAAAYYYYYY more attractive than any physical body could EVER be.  Some people I read were so beautiful I had anxiety just doing their readings.  Literally, the beauty of Gods and Goddesses.

Literally my new favorite color because of reading some of those systems is now hot pink.  People are beautiful.  I just wish...They all knew it.