10-05-2017, 09:12 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2017, 09:24 AM by rva_jeremy.)
I am very pleased that somehow, despite a lifetime of finding excuses and reasons I can't, I have been meditating every morning for the past two years. The only way I was able to accomplish this and keep it up in a way that I could feel good about was to go easy on myself and treat obstacles as challenges.
First of all, if you don't feel like meditating, don't. What you need, especially at the beginning of a practice, is positive reinforcement of what you're doing so that you seek to do the meditation rather than simply seek to have done it. So if you think there's a very good chance you won't be able to enjoy the meditation, don't bother. If you see yourself skipping over and over again, it's just an opportunity to be honest and kind with yourself about that.
Secondly, distractions can be challenges. I try to get up no later than 6:30 am just so I'll have quiet time to meditate without significant distractions. But I have beagles who howl and I share the space with my wife as well. When they are distracting, I use it as an opportunity to work with frustration and distraction. Meditation is not an escape from the real world and its distractions, in my opinion: instead, it's a way of waking up to the real world, of allowing the world to finally get through to you, as Chödrön says, and all the stimulus can be as lovingly and kindly accepted and released precisely in the same way as the thoughts that pop up in our heads. In fact, I find it much easier to deal with external stimuli nowadays than the endless discursive thoughts that continually cloud my mental sky.
In meditation, we are practicing a mentality that we ultimately seek to execute on in waking life. Therefore, there is every reason to use the things that make meditation more difficult as training on patience and detachment. I've made lots of excuses for not meditating throughout my life, but ultimately the question is not whether or not to meditate. Instead, it's whether or not to practice the kind of loving acceptance of and patience with yourself that makes meditation desirable, pleasurable, a sensible way to live. If you find yourself forcing yourself to meditate, go easier on yourself and make sure you "give yourself a hug" now and then, and afford yourself the space to determine your real desire. Also consider that you may have an overly rigid idea of what good practice looks like -- don't make some ideal of meditation a reason to be harsh with yourself. Remember: we can't tell what a productive meditation really feels like. I suspect our worst meditations are the ones that teach best, if we can be enough of a friend to ourselves to allow them to.
P.S. I have found morning reading an invaluable way to situate meditation in a wider ritual, akin to Carla's "morning offering". I do my reading before meditation, and Jim does his afterwards. But some kind of way you can make it not simply about meditation can often be helpful. Otherwise, it can be a bleak chore. I don't always want to meditate when I wake up, but after reading spiritually uplifting stuff I usually do. I also incorporate prayer and, per Jade's sage advice a few years ago, a conscious setting of intention for the day. Lately I've also been making sure to offer love to the planet. All of these things help make meditation less tedious, since it becomes not "the whole point" but merely one part in a well rounded dedication of the day.
P.P.S. I do find that longer meditations feel better, but that doesn't mean that I spend the whole time in mindless bliss. In fact, I tend to spend about half the meditation simply getting into the right head space. The longer amount of time I give myself, the more "centered" time I have, since there's nothing worse than rushing a meditation. Give yourself space, find out for yourself what connection really feels like, and understand there will be good days and bad days, with the latter teaching so very much.
First of all, if you don't feel like meditating, don't. What you need, especially at the beginning of a practice, is positive reinforcement of what you're doing so that you seek to do the meditation rather than simply seek to have done it. So if you think there's a very good chance you won't be able to enjoy the meditation, don't bother. If you see yourself skipping over and over again, it's just an opportunity to be honest and kind with yourself about that.
Secondly, distractions can be challenges. I try to get up no later than 6:30 am just so I'll have quiet time to meditate without significant distractions. But I have beagles who howl and I share the space with my wife as well. When they are distracting, I use it as an opportunity to work with frustration and distraction. Meditation is not an escape from the real world and its distractions, in my opinion: instead, it's a way of waking up to the real world, of allowing the world to finally get through to you, as Chödrön says, and all the stimulus can be as lovingly and kindly accepted and released precisely in the same way as the thoughts that pop up in our heads. In fact, I find it much easier to deal with external stimuli nowadays than the endless discursive thoughts that continually cloud my mental sky.
In meditation, we are practicing a mentality that we ultimately seek to execute on in waking life. Therefore, there is every reason to use the things that make meditation more difficult as training on patience and detachment. I've made lots of excuses for not meditating throughout my life, but ultimately the question is not whether or not to meditate. Instead, it's whether or not to practice the kind of loving acceptance of and patience with yourself that makes meditation desirable, pleasurable, a sensible way to live. If you find yourself forcing yourself to meditate, go easier on yourself and make sure you "give yourself a hug" now and then, and afford yourself the space to determine your real desire. Also consider that you may have an overly rigid idea of what good practice looks like -- don't make some ideal of meditation a reason to be harsh with yourself. Remember: we can't tell what a productive meditation really feels like. I suspect our worst meditations are the ones that teach best, if we can be enough of a friend to ourselves to allow them to.
P.S. I have found morning reading an invaluable way to situate meditation in a wider ritual, akin to Carla's "morning offering". I do my reading before meditation, and Jim does his afterwards. But some kind of way you can make it not simply about meditation can often be helpful. Otherwise, it can be a bleak chore. I don't always want to meditate when I wake up, but after reading spiritually uplifting stuff I usually do. I also incorporate prayer and, per Jade's sage advice a few years ago, a conscious setting of intention for the day. Lately I've also been making sure to offer love to the planet. All of these things help make meditation less tedious, since it becomes not "the whole point" but merely one part in a well rounded dedication of the day.
P.P.S. I do find that longer meditations feel better, but that doesn't mean that I spend the whole time in mindless bliss. In fact, I tend to spend about half the meditation simply getting into the right head space. The longer amount of time I give myself, the more "centered" time I have, since there's nothing worse than rushing a meditation. Give yourself space, find out for yourself what connection really feels like, and understand there will be good days and bad days, with the latter teaching so very much.