12-06-2017, 07:17 PM
You know, I think I would come back actually now that I really think about it.
But I think I'd need to spend more time considering things I may have need to consider more about.
Like forgiveness.
Who knows, maybe I'm just designed to be upset, to explore these concepts, and maybe nothing is actually wrong, and I'm just good at moaning about the ethical debacles of reconciling evil and god in philosophical ethical debates.
I am looking for the love, it just seems to be in a very hidden in plain sight kind of way. It's like there's this beautiful picture of a closeup suburban landscape, the houses are vibrant, there's swaying trees and bushes, flowers, a lot of serenity, then tucked away in a shadow somewhere is a much more horrendous scene. You don't notice it until you look into that particular dark spot on the picture. 99% of it is amazing, then there's that one place.
What's that doing there?
It's my darkness.
Why would you want that?
Well, it's alive too, it deserves a place too.
But it's doing horrible things!
... Looking at everything, there is mostly love. You could say I'm being squeamish about this one little stain in my perception. I have to some degree a desire to understand all of these weird things, especially to figure out the archetypical themes of such things for writing, as I do hope to achieve Stephen King style genres. Because those are some good books.
But, I get too invested in these silly pursuits. And as everyone can see, I get especially irratic at my obsession with the spiritual and the actual reality I perceived before I found the Law of One, and now.
I'd say. I have a lot of work to do. So I may have further needs for 3D. I'm just beginning to wonder if it is the most efficacious and efficient manner for me to incarnate. I wonder if one can be a discarnate wanderer on the physical plane, like say you find a person in 1920 in a desert, he's dying, you're discarnate but able to effect change very subtly, go back centuries, find a cactus, make it grow, fall, repeat over time so that in 1920 right where this guy is, he comes upon a cactus, all juicy and ripe, it gives him sustenance to keep on trying to get back, gives him shade to rest for a moment, but mostly water. And stupid silly little stuff like that. Changing small little things in small little ways, those everyday miracles I believe in. I wanna make them happen. Somehow there's one last gallon of milk, somehow a person meets another right at the right moment.
I'd certainly rather focus on that than trying to be a good writer hah.
Anyways, that's my musing, sorry for that, I forget I should show some humility. I will just have to redouble my efforts to find love in those moments.
But I think I'd need to spend more time considering things I may have need to consider more about.
Like forgiveness.
Who knows, maybe I'm just designed to be upset, to explore these concepts, and maybe nothing is actually wrong, and I'm just good at moaning about the ethical debacles of reconciling evil and god in philosophical ethical debates.
I am looking for the love, it just seems to be in a very hidden in plain sight kind of way. It's like there's this beautiful picture of a closeup suburban landscape, the houses are vibrant, there's swaying trees and bushes, flowers, a lot of serenity, then tucked away in a shadow somewhere is a much more horrendous scene. You don't notice it until you look into that particular dark spot on the picture. 99% of it is amazing, then there's that one place.
What's that doing there?
It's my darkness.
Why would you want that?
Well, it's alive too, it deserves a place too.
But it's doing horrible things!
... Looking at everything, there is mostly love. You could say I'm being squeamish about this one little stain in my perception. I have to some degree a desire to understand all of these weird things, especially to figure out the archetypical themes of such things for writing, as I do hope to achieve Stephen King style genres. Because those are some good books.
But, I get too invested in these silly pursuits. And as everyone can see, I get especially irratic at my obsession with the spiritual and the actual reality I perceived before I found the Law of One, and now.
I'd say. I have a lot of work to do. So I may have further needs for 3D. I'm just beginning to wonder if it is the most efficacious and efficient manner for me to incarnate. I wonder if one can be a discarnate wanderer on the physical plane, like say you find a person in 1920 in a desert, he's dying, you're discarnate but able to effect change very subtly, go back centuries, find a cactus, make it grow, fall, repeat over time so that in 1920 right where this guy is, he comes upon a cactus, all juicy and ripe, it gives him sustenance to keep on trying to get back, gives him shade to rest for a moment, but mostly water. And stupid silly little stuff like that. Changing small little things in small little ways, those everyday miracles I believe in. I wanna make them happen. Somehow there's one last gallon of milk, somehow a person meets another right at the right moment.
I'd certainly rather focus on that than trying to be a good writer hah.
Anyways, that's my musing, sorry for that, I forget I should show some humility. I will just have to redouble my efforts to find love in those moments.