I'm choosing the negative path.

[Mahakali]

I've been there, sort of.

It's easy for me to fall in love with fictional characters (anthros).
Though the ones I fall in love with are portrayed as adult.

I don't really fall in love with fictional characters. I don't often even fap to comics; I just read them and save the concepts therein for later masturbation sessions. I wish I could fap to comics without personal self-identification like I used to be able to do, but the s*** invading my time/space body has taken away my ability to do that for some reason (probably because it's trying to block my imagination).

I'm bisexual, but not interested in shotas for some reason. Only lolis do it for me, which is at least good evidence that my comic book fetishes are divorced from my RL sexuality.

And furry s*** in any form disgusts me tbh. Even bestiality is okay, as long as it doesn't include anthros.

stuff

>I have to give you points for humor.  Telling me I should act out like a 10 y/o, then demonstrating the mess that can lead to is amusing, indeed.

The two aren't related. I hated druggies when I was a 10 year old... probably would have done well to listen to the little bastard in that situation, too! On the other hand, I probably wouldn't trade my drug years for anything. Those were the only time I ever came even close to happy...

And the drugs and trauma that damaged me the worst were from psych meds and Christians trying to kill my inner 10 year old and make me another cog in the machine... and, in that case, too, it was better to be listening to the damn 10 year-old. I'm hanging on for dear life, but if I'd not listened to the little f*****, I'd be dead altogether.

I'm never growing up. I've seen it ruin too many good people.


>I hope you don't take this as a jab

I don't, probably because I don't get it. Enlighten me? What was the correlation, other than that we both lost mobility as an act of violence?

>So, I'm wondering here, how did you lose your mind, soul and psychic powers?

Well, they're not lost, just in a box. Kundalini is in everything; it's not possible to lose it, only to have the illusion of losing it.

Anyways, I will always have an individual soul. I won't get into the specifics of the alchemy behind it because I'm too lazy, but certain things have been done to me that are so unforgivable that I can never stop moving and so painful that no threat scares me and no "punishment" can truly harm me.

I'm understanding some things now. The Dark Gods gave me a gift. A painful gift which I've cried over for many years, but one that precludes me from ever giving in. There's nowhere to go but out.

I know the general, but not the specifics. If I knew, I wouldn't be asking for help.

Well, I do know some specifics. The geometry of the heart chakra is all wrong, and the nadis need to be rewired. Something is wrong with my solar plexus, and I'm not sure exactly how to fix that right now. The brain and the third eye need some intensive energy work, but will probably be relatively straightforward to heal; I have the correct blueprint. Correct frequencies need to be tuned in on the etheric/scalar wave/whatever level.

EDIT: Also, I need to correct the wiring of the parts of my brain relating to memory, emotion, motor function, sleep, waking consciousness, and chakra control.


>Perhaps, in order to swing freely on the trapeze of youth, as it were, you first must let go of the trapeze of childhood?  Otherwise, you cannot travel.  I dunno.  You decide.

That... what? No, I'm talking about astral implants and occult technology used on me to overtake my aura.

If the implication was that they'll only stop if I conform - which is something they've told me before - then I'll give you the same answer I gave them: suck my dick. I simply don't trust them. They'll leave in a backdoor and keep on trying to control my life. If they're running a system that encourages freedom, great; I'll learn and build and have fun and maybe even contribute somehting. If it's a system that only looks free but actually has a bunch of backdoors and a complete backstage, or a series of backstages, then I'll break out, hack s***, and have fun.

Either way, I accept no authority.

If those people want anything from me, they cut the s*** out first.

>Seems to me it might better apply to the way some purportedly sto folks who really aren't interested in serving anyone but themselves and who have never lived a day behind the front lines of an sts gathering go about explaining what the Path of Darkness is all about.

So true. There really are some wonderful things in the Darkness. There are probably more nightmares there than in the STO current, but there aspects that are a lot of fun. I have more experiences with the nightmares than the fun, but it's not the eternal suffering pit of fire that a lot of STO's make it out to be.

truth

Truth.

I would add that for a negative being in a place where knowledge is suppressed, learning from positive people is better than "learning" from negatives. Positives tend to want to make technical information available to everyone, as they see everyone as truly equal; the negatives will manipulate you if they feel like it.