STS Individual Taking Advantage of STO Individual

[Stranger]

I find in my heart that this is happening in my current situation and it couldnt feel more wrong or incorrect to me.  I feel like im trying desperately to convert someone to a different polarity who very well may have chosen a path opposite to mine currently.  Yet i still pour my love into this individual, in return, they continue to abuse me and make very little efforts to change.  

Leaving this person is not an option, given their instability, and im very certain id feel empty or without purpose if i wasnt to have a "project" of sorts to be channeling my love into.  Not to mention the immense guilt id feel if they committed suicide as they often threaten.

Xatu, this may be hard for you to hear, but it seems to me that you are enabling this individual's bad behavior. If you are not familiar with the term, it refers to behavior that appears on the surface to be kind and supportive, but in actuality keeps the other person in a state where they are continuing to harm themselves and/or others.

The prototypical example is a parent whose adult child is addicted to drugs, and the parent expresses his or her love for the child by continuing to provide a place to live, money, or other support which prevents the child from experiencing the destructive consequences of their actions. This pattern of behavior represents love completely unbalanced by wisdom, and produces grievous destructive consequences for both people: the parent is sucked dry emotionally and financially, while the child continues to implode, unchecked.

So please be clear that by providing a willing punching bag for this person's malevolent tendencies, you are serving neither of your best interests.

The other thing I want to say is this. No one is responsible for another person's actions. If he/she chooses to commit suicide, that is their choice and their free will guarantees their right to do so, and to experience the consequences of those choices. Your guilt in that case is equally inappropriate and unnecessary.

With that said, my heart goes out to you and the grief and suffering which you are experiencing. I hope you will find the light within yourself and for yourself, and allow other free agents on this planet to make their own choices as they will.

With much love,
Stranger.