Hey EvolvingPhoenix,
The theme that comes through very strongly in your posts is fear of a malevolent authority figure, forcing you to do things against your will - whether your Higher Self/Oversoul, God, etc.
Realize that none of the things that you are afraid of here are actually happening. Therefore, the fear is coming from *inside you* and not from the actions of God or your Higher Self.
Recognize therefore that you need to focus your loving attention not on avoiding a terrible rebirth or anything else that's external to you, but, rather, *on healing the part of you that's afraid.* That is the appropriate target to work on, if you would like to feel more peace and less fear.
You can work through this fear by learning a simple technique called EFT or "tapping". There are tons of video tutorials if you want to attempt it yourself, and many practitioners, both online and offline, who will guide you through it if you would prefer that.
Or, you could also close your eyes,
focus on the fear inside you without trying to change it or make it go away - just let it be there,
and wrap it in loving-kindness, like you would a scared puppy in a thunderstorm.
Or, imagine loving sunlight shining right into that feeling.
Stay with that and notice how it begins to diminish. Continue until it's gone or something else related to it comes up. If something else comes up - a distressing feeling or memory - address it in the same way.
The trick is to love it all away, because love literally dissolves fear.
Remember that all the things you incarnated in order to work on are inside you.
The theme that comes through very strongly in your posts is fear of a malevolent authority figure, forcing you to do things against your will - whether your Higher Self/Oversoul, God, etc.
Realize that none of the things that you are afraid of here are actually happening. Therefore, the fear is coming from *inside you* and not from the actions of God or your Higher Self.
Recognize therefore that you need to focus your loving attention not on avoiding a terrible rebirth or anything else that's external to you, but, rather, *on healing the part of you that's afraid.* That is the appropriate target to work on, if you would like to feel more peace and less fear.
You can work through this fear by learning a simple technique called EFT or "tapping". There are tons of video tutorials if you want to attempt it yourself, and many practitioners, both online and offline, who will guide you through it if you would prefer that.
Or, you could also close your eyes,
focus on the fear inside you without trying to change it or make it go away - just let it be there,
and wrap it in loving-kindness, like you would a scared puppy in a thunderstorm.
Or, imagine loving sunlight shining right into that feeling.
Stay with that and notice how it begins to diminish. Continue until it's gone or something else related to it comes up. If something else comes up - a distressing feeling or memory - address it in the same way.
The trick is to love it all away, because love literally dissolves fear.
Remember that all the things you incarnated in order to work on are inside you.
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