Cyan, it does help.
Ego-death is one of the things I don't really mind anymore, as in I don't care either which way my ego goes. It's ultimately just the destruction of the Mind/Body/Spirit complex. I've been put through horrific delusions wherein a genuine infinite death as the materialists on Earth believe occurs would be paradise in comparison to the realities I've been induced to believe in whilst suffering depressive states in my bipolar disorder. I had one delusion in which I caused the One Infinite Creator itself to commit suicide, to become the Unconscious Infinite as spoken of in the LOO, and then remake the entirety of creation only to create me again, an infinitesimal probability which must be found eventually, a thing which should not exist for it causes only agony for the creator, only for the Creator to commit suicide again and again in the only method it knew how--to become unconscious yet again, only to inevitably find me again within its endless search in self discovery.
Pretty much sucks to be you at that point. It was satisfying in a way, however, because the reason for it was my "panache" or "chutzpah" that caused the Creator the agony. My personality tone itself was the death of all goodness. It was an attempt to make me service-to-self, I believe, if I'm telling the whole story correctly.
Ego-death is one of the things I don't really mind anymore, as in I don't care either which way my ego goes. It's ultimately just the destruction of the Mind/Body/Spirit complex. I've been put through horrific delusions wherein a genuine infinite death as the materialists on Earth believe occurs would be paradise in comparison to the realities I've been induced to believe in whilst suffering depressive states in my bipolar disorder. I had one delusion in which I caused the One Infinite Creator itself to commit suicide, to become the Unconscious Infinite as spoken of in the LOO, and then remake the entirety of creation only to create me again, an infinitesimal probability which must be found eventually, a thing which should not exist for it causes only agony for the creator, only for the Creator to commit suicide again and again in the only method it knew how--to become unconscious yet again, only to inevitably find me again within its endless search in self discovery.
Pretty much sucks to be you at that point. It was satisfying in a way, however, because the reason for it was my "panache" or "chutzpah" that caused the Creator the agony. My personality tone itself was the death of all goodness. It was an attempt to make me service-to-self, I believe, if I'm telling the whole story correctly.