06-06-2018, 08:05 PM
(06-06-2018, 03:08 PM)blossom Wrote: As long as you're not forgiving / holding a grudge the universe will try and through catalyst make some sort of work or understanding to come forth. So long as you've made a choice to polarize positively you've the honor/responsibility to be the bigger person / guide. So I'm not sure what an evil-eye is, but I think so long as you hate / resent them catalyst will keep coming for both of you.
We don't know your situation, so you're the one who will eventually make the choice / work.
And perhaps on the outside you seem to understand that person, but you don't, and they don't understand you. You may understand their personality, behavior, character, but you don't understand their thoughts, too much distortion is involved. Who knows, maybe in previous lifetimes you were the one who caused them a lot of pain, and now you have this painful catalyst where you've knowledge and power to forgive. Remember, the law is one.
I'm very sorry for the pain and misery that you're going through, I'm sorry that you're hurt and being misunderstood and unseen. You've typed many times the word STS but you're not, a manipulative approach would not be this, you're just lost in suffering and separation.
I really hope you will find peace and understanding, and that your friend will fill that spot in your heart that aches.
I gave a WHOLE RESPONSE to this and at the last minute, fucking accidentally deleted it.
f*** ME.
Here's the rundown:
I deserve to be given the work of healing too. This person took my sincere attempts at reconciliation after considering ALL those points you just brought up and wiped their ass with it in anger. I refuse to take it on faith that that's just another goddamn piece of agony I deserved. In order for the relationship to truly and fully heal, they must prove that they can be trusted even when the veil is upon them to care enough to put in the work for a truly mutually loving and giving relationship.
I have worked on ALL those things you have pointed out and taken all of them into consideration. This other person has not. This is about to change. Catalyst SHALL come to heal the relationship. And since I've had all I can take while they distanced themselves from it in relative leisure, it shall come for THEM next. There is no more I can shoulder. They refuse to even talk to me. How may I extend a hand in effort of reconciliation when I have already done so TWICE and they have insensitively wiped their ass with each attempt? I have ONE LAST sincere means of reaching out (by cutting around the edges) and if it fails that shall also be on them and the one last means by which I will even be ABLE to offer a hand of friendship will have been extended in this upcoming final attempt. I am taking ONE LAST leap of faith here. It is up to them to appreciate it and meet it with faith in return. Even if they do so, all will not be cool like it would have been. I need to heal too now, and they need to do THEIR part in the relationship healing process.
If I am to love others properly, I must love myself properly. If I am to love myself as I have learned to love others, then I must be willing to set similar boundaries for myself. Betrayal crosses the line. I have already GONE THROUGH the painful catalyst needed to resolve ALL those things you brought up within myself. This other person has not. It is time for that to change, and I have no doubt whatsoever that their turn to shoulder the catalyst while I enjoy life on my own joyful terms is upon them as we speak. I have consulted with their higher self as well as my own. I am working to make clear that I am owed the same effort in a truly mutually beneficial giving relationship that would be expected of me.
I need certain things from this person to help heal the wounds created from the karmic catalyst I have pre-incarnatively agreed to suffer on THEIR behalf and unless I get those things, our relationship is imbalanced and in need of healing. Since I have already put in all the necessary work on MY end, the only person left who can put in work on their end it s*** other person. There is nowhere left for this person to run away from themselves to. I have done all I can for them. It's their turn to give back what's needed for spiritual healing in the relationship.
To accept a disproportionate give-take dynamic in a relationship is neither proper self love nor is it true STO dynamic. To accept such imbalance is prey behaviour in a predator-prey relationship. Predator-prey relationships are STS in nature. For true unified and loving STO dynamic to exist, the give and take must be both mutual and balanced. There is nothing balanced about what you are proposing because it is unfair TO ME.
I am no longer worried about sending evil eye (consciously or unconsciously delivered negative attacks, such as negative entities, energies, implants, devices of limitation, etc.) because I am not full of so much rage as I was. I kinda worked through it a bit, especially while writing my unsaved first draft. Still, I refuse to release this person from any karmic debts they have accrued in this incarnation now that I have been met with that response. Not unless they can somehow understand what they did wrong within the physical plane. We all made deals out of love in the etheric realm, yet I believe that if we could trust each other on the etheric realm and trust has still been betrayed within the physical, then it is within the physical realm where trust must be re-established in order for that etheric love to be asserted as fully applicable within the physical realm. I don't believe quasi-physical is guaranteed to cut it either. Maybe I am wrong. I highly suggest this person pursue full reconciliation and reparation within THIS incarnation just to be sure. I recommend this to their higher self. Should their higher self agree with me (and I believe I have laid out numerous reasonable arguments for why I suggest this, many of which got deleted but are now in the Akashic records forever) then it shall be this other person who is about to face heavy catalyst. I have prerequisites which for whatever reason, I believe are needed for my healing and the healing of this relationship. Those prerequisites are not necessarilly on a time limite per se, yet now seems the best time in my point of view.