Having a hard time understanding the sacral (orange) chakra

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Think of your desires and attachments. Do you react to them, and see them from the red ray of desire? Or do you look down on them with awareness and understanding from the yellow.

If you look from the red, then you are essentially a slave to desire. If you look from above, then you have some measure of freedom from them.

If you look up the orange ray in the Ra material, there's some good stuff.

Awareness and understanding huh...

I feel I'm getting awareness in the most painful ways possible.

I believe you once put it as smacking my face against rock bottom. So there's the red ray perspective. I guess at some point, you start to see from that there's a pattern that leads to nowhere, and I guess that's the yellow ray perspective...