Dealing with dopamine withdrawal

[Cyan]

I used to walk 25.000 steps every 3 days for a few years. Never did notice getting runners high, but, collecting bottles from trash while wearing clean clothes and doing a o mani padme hum or any similar chant gets you to a wonderful state, though your areas bottle collecting laws maybe different and you cant set up a simple route of A to B and make 5 bucks doing so, which you can then use to buy a large chocolate coffee en indulge your dopamine, but thats just me, walking made me feel a bit better but I walked so much I peeled off the bottoms of my feet so I cant really recommend that, maybe get a good personal coach or someone who wants to exercise and go with them to the gym, you cant get the type of "workoutrush" by just walking around that you may need for your health.

Thanks for the input, Cyan.

I realize the balancing act I'm trying to pull here:

On one hand, I'm trying to heal from all this pain I've been through in life, starting possibly with some trauma experienced in the womb, and at the same time, enjoy life to the fullest as best I can and at the same time self actualize and become what I consider to be my best version, and connect with others. And polarize positive enough to make harvest. Such a tall order, you know?

No wonder I feel like I'm going nuts.

Thought I'd point something more out, for a person with strong or well actualized defences learning new things makes you feel like you're going nuts and stupid and that impulse is very hard to reist, to force the mind back into the mindset of "YEAH; I AM STUPID; SO WHAT" from the defence of "being smarter than others in some things". IT feels like your muscles itch and tense on their own, like your body is crawling with ants and many other things, but you know that without learning new things you'd die so your body accepts it, but try to remember that there can be false information in the new thing you study as well and if ends up hurting you the dopamine withdrawal will be even worse. I hope you get the best of situations and can heal well. Sometimes, from personal experience, seeing how you were responsible, in a direct way by acting now to receive a trauma in the past, to see the trauma without veil, is much less easy to develop through than to believe that there has been an exterior "trauma", so just knowledge may not help.