If you could have one wish

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Our situations may be different. I wouldn't say it's an obsession for me.
I don't think about it much, the anthro thing.
But when I do, it can be fiery strong.
Goosebumps, lump in my throat, tears, sometimes forget to breathe for a few moments.
It's more like I'm captivated.
It makes me start to pray for it in the future. I don't usually pray.
But I would do 3D again to be anthro. Not the whole cycle, but another 3D life as one.
But it would only mean something if in that life I actually remembered this one about wanting to be one.
I would have to know for certain and without all doubt that I wanted that life.
It would be meaningless to get the life of your dreams if you did not know you had wanted it.

I would think maybe you'd just know deep down, you know?

Anyway, yeah that's not my situation with the friendship breakup. My situation is more unhealthily obsessed. For the reasons I just laid out. It's not easy to deal with. I often fantasize about dying or committing suicide and just sleeping in the afterlife until I can make amends with my friend from the other side, but I know that wouldn't do me any good, and I would just have to repeat the same lessons in another life. So I'm working to get over it and live this life. But it's hard. I would love to be part of a SMC rather than live the way I'm living now. I don't wanna do 3D again, but I DO want to enjoy my time here. Hard to do though.