Depression and Accepting or Resisting Futility

[Minyatur]

Nothing is inherently futile. Everything is love and light, whether you see futility or meaning is your choice of perception that your entertain. Depression is having deeply rooted in your mind negative and pessimistic thought patterns that are fired up at any and every occasion in your life (beware of negative thinking before sleep). Stepping out of depression is making the conscious choice, again and again, to see each thing in a better light.

If you can't enjoy the small things, no amount of having more will really bring you joy. You will just stop having an excuse to escape yourself and will be brought back to how you feel empty and unwhole with yourself.

No, Teal Swan was right. Depression comes from resisting futility. And "nothing is inherently futile" you go ahead and tell me how I can get my friend back or get my mom to change then. Because I am all out of answers. As long as free will exists, any hopes I have for getting my friend back or having a real relationship with my mom are futile because their free will choice is what it is. My friend chooses by her own free will that she wants nothing to do with me and doesnt want to change her mind. My mom chooses of her own free will that she will seperate herself from others, although her decision is less conscious, it's still her decision.

Trying to get them to make another decision is futile. They choose by their own free will not to have a relationship with me. And it doesn't matter to either one of them how painful that is to me.

I think depression is closer to being stuck in the past, this creates wanting things to be different or to have been otherwise, instead of being grounded in the present and accepting how they are.
That is a bit why things rise up in meditation, you see why you can't just sit with yourself in the present moment and move through the part of yourself that is a creature of memories and beliefs into realigning with the deeper part of you that is closer to infinity.

I don't like the word futility because I often see a lack of honesty in its usage. It's a bit like how when people say they don't care about something, they are really just polarizing the fact that they care negatively as they create separation in their heart. It is trying to overcome and that is not all that much helpful. So I think calling something futile is attempting to toss away the part of you that you need to nurture yourself with love. There is a real need to be addressed, but not through yourself found in others and instead really sitting alone with it. While you can blame others to inflict emotional pain or be uncaring about it, it really is always your mind that keeps the wound open and does not turn to seek to be well with it.

Respecting and honoring another's free will is a requisite to positively love someone. That's the difference between loving and needing someone, between positive and negative love, between a love that radiates freely or draws and absorbs to itself. The part of you that wants to force yourself on someone is not the part of you that loves them. Our needs are rooted in our instincts and it is of the nature of catalysts to shake us off from that template into realizing what we really are. In acceptance we transcend them and reach heart-found love, in rejection we crystallize them as blockages and cut ourselves from heart-found love.

If you love someone sincerely and they want to be without you, you should tell them that you wish them well and that you will be there if they come to need you.