What does it really take to open to Intelligent Infinity?

[Sacred Fool]

IGW, when a honey bee hive splits a new queen takes a fair portion of the hive away with her off into the unknown. They swarm around in a fairly confused and chaotic fashion, unsure of where they're going and trying hard to keep together. Eventually they land in a new place and begin settling in, creating honey comb and so forth.

I gather that in your outer life you are already settled into a home and so on, but it feels like your mind is still swarming hither and thither, unable to settle in someplace and rest. Honestly, I think you're starting at wrong end of things. Your capacity for spiritual connection isn't lacking, but you central nervous system seems to be unable to have defined patterns of activity and rest. You really might benefit by looking for ways to achieve defined periods of restorative, peaceable down time and sleep. Having a periodicity to the heightened activation of your nervous system might serve you well. It might allow you a clarity of mental organization which might then allow you to move ahead with what you would like to do.