The unconditional love myth, as described by Donovan Sharpe

[Glow]

But what do you mean "Becoming who you see yourself as?" Do you mean becoming what I don't like about myself and learning to accept it? Or do you mean something else?

I mean your ideal self as you imagine it—the person you would like to be or think you are at any given moment. Imagine the very best version of yourself, and that is what to strive for and stay true to. This ideal will change as you evolve. The idea is to be awake to it, and not look outside of self to "fix" self. Do you see yourself as kind, for example? Your actions, words, and thoughts ideally will match the vision of who you see yourself as.

That makes sense. I guess I'm trying to formulate the best ideal self to want to embody lately. I admit that a black magick practicing, negative, bitter man who spits in the face of people throwing love and support his way is not it.

There is some aspect of self love that means you have to love yourself and accept yourself even flawed.
If you cannot accept yourself unless perfect you will not accept others flaws either and that is part of the unconditional thing.

We are all a work in progress. None of us ever reach a state of completion. So you have to say. I can be a bit of an inflamed angry rude person when upset. I am working on it but I can still love me even though I am not perfect.

Do you want someone to still love you even though you are flawed? If so love yourself and them when flawed. Tomorrow we can always do better. But love is not dependent on some ideal version of self, it accepts/loves anyways but moves forward to grow and always learn/heal/do better.

I see you losing control, and buying into some unhelpful worldly ideals but I am impressed you can catch truth even when it feels bad, absorb it and try again. I accept you EP. I know it doesn't solve your problem but I am impressed you are trying. Life is hard.