Can you accept being a loser in this world?

[Diana]

Why bother? with anything. Nothing in this world matters. It might matter for the world after this one but not here. All you do here is fight against ebb and tide. An endless cycle of violence.

I understand your frustration. But the scenario you paint is not the only way it can be here, although given the state of consciousness here in general it is easy to see it this way. More below.

The only problem I seem to have with this is if you are with your family and friends.I can handle not having the gold of this world but can they? As the common saying goes pyrite is fools gold.
I'm not sure I'd be able to see people I love suffer because they refuse to take part in a corrupt system.

We are who and what we are at any given moment. So if that's how you feel then that is your catalyst to work through (and it can be really really hard) and as much as I empathize I can't make you into someone you aren't while you are walking your own path. The same can be said of your loved ones regarding how you handle their paths. What you can do, which is what I do and that is all I know to do given my present understanding, is to support your loved ones on their paths without detracting from your own, which involves self-knowledge and wisdom added to the love.

I know we only have to be 51 % STO but you know in my opinion it's just as hard as being 95%. There's no point trying to live from your heart if you are willing trampling on others in order to get a comfortable life. We live with riches because we take from others. Don't try to sell me anything. This is the matrix we're talking about, not some fantasy.

Firstly, I would let go of these percentages. I think you only mean them as a reference. But back to the idea we are who we are at any given point—that is a proper reference point in my opinion. You go from there. You do your best at everything you do (for example even cleaning the house or working at a job that is not ideal), and you strive to reach your potential. In this way the focus is shifted from this messed-up world to a higher consciousness.  

You do not have to take from others to get riches. There is unlimited supply, and it is just the controlling factions of this planet who promulgate scarcity.  

Okay let's take an extreme example. Say you are in a post apocalyptic scenario and you and your family come across a bunch of thieves and worse....you know the only way to get trough this is to take your guns and use them in a lethal manner. It's a one way street. Either you do it or you get enslaved. What do you do?

Maybe a book, movie, or video game might play out that way. There are other ways this would play out. There is intellect that could be used to outsmart an opponent. There are self-defense techniques to use that are nonlethal. And on and on.

Defending yourself in this world....what would that turn you into?

What you choose to turn into.

This might be an extreme example but you can apply it into all areas of life. As you can quickly see this isn't a way to live in this world. To be of service to others is to be a loser in the physical ascpects of life.  Or does being STO allow you to defend yourself everytime you are attacked?
Then you'd have to carefully pick your battles so that you may win them. This quickly goes into STS-thinking.
Buddha once said that if you are given a gift and do not accept it it goes back to the one who bought it for you. Similary you can repel attacks and insults.  Does that mean you should just let yourself get beaten down? I know you can control your emotional response but still. How could you allow your body to endure such suffering? It is just as much a part of you as is your soul.
Do any of you accept that like Jesus did? I doubt it.

I'm not sure if I'm capable of accepting that.

I don't think anyone should let themselves be beaten down. I see in your thinking a very black and white picture. Let's take being attacked. I'll reiterate that if you know self-defense as a legitimate martial art, you will know how to defend without harming, or at least minimizing the harm to all. Service to others includes self. If you wouldn't want a loved one to get beaten, then why would you want your self to get beaten, as all are one, and hopefully you (not anyone in particular) respect the physical vehicle you have in this life.

So the idea here is to expand thinking, embrace more possibilities. There is nothing wrong with your attitude, because going through the steps toward wisdom include questioning and making some sense of the dichotomies and paradoxes. I do not advocate a thin layer of positivity over a lake of confusion. I say let the confusion rise and be dealt with. That said, it isn't easy on this planet at this time, down here in the trenches. And I agree that it is likely so easy "on the other side" of this 3D (or early 4D as the case may be) to give advice which may be so wise and helpful, while trying to implement it in this environment is difficult. But growth often is difficult.