turning the other cheek?

[Diana]

i read that it means to simply turn away and avoid a fight but sometimes in life you can't avoid a fight etc..you know how it goes
i would really know what you guys think of this?
i personally to put it mildy disagree with this. any thoughts on this? 

my question simply is...how do you hit the sweet spot for any given situation. its not like there are any instruction lying around or your higher self giving you advice. i read of people who can talk to their higher self but im not yet capable of doing so
ive been struggling with this for a very long time
so whats the advice for the average human?

Detachment from outcomes + self-honesty is the ideal mindset to have, in my opinion.

The starting point is self-honesty. This isn't easy. A good question is: Who do you see yourself as, compared to how you act in the world? Self-knowledge is a good thing to be aware of and work toward.

I agree with the quote you posted about STA, in that the self is an other-self. Otherwise there is separation. Therefore, service to others includes self. So there must be a balance between what is acceptable to self and what self is offering to others. Know one's self is key to this concept.

Part of knowing one's self is setting healthy boundaries. Without boundaries, a person may just do whatever presses in them from others (partners, bosses, family members) in order to avoid conflict and in an effort to always be helping. But in reality this often causes feelings of resentment, because in truth, no clear decision was made about whether or not any such help was a viable or healthy option for self. This resentment then, whether it is conscious or below the surface, causes problems.

Knowing self, being confident in this knowing, and being honest with others and self is a great goal to work toward. It was easy for me to develop this state of mind because I started working as a freelancer from home in my 20s. I had to create boundaries and be honest with others about what I was willing to do outside of my work (which involved pressing deadlines), and I also developed detachment (a thick skin) because hardly anybody understood it. But I knew why they didn't—because they had not experienced my situation and were all employees that went home from their jobs every night—so I was detached from the drama of their judgments. 

Developing detachment from outcomes is not the same as not caring—it is acceptance. But acceptance must be coupled with action or intention. It isn't ideal to just be a leaf blowing at the whim of the wind, unless that is exactly what the self wants to experience. So knowing self is key. Who do you want to be, and how does that square with how you act in the world?