07-24-2020, 01:18 AM
It may well be that you programmed these difficult elements of your current incarnation in order to bring you to exactly the point where you are, that of choice. And I can see how subterranean option appears to offer a more balanced sense of self than the other. And yet, of course, the darker path is, at the same time, less balanced because it deflects you from experiencing the transcendent resonance of your own heart. But then, you're not moving very quickly in that direction anyhow, are you?
Rereading one of your posts above, I thought, if one only had access to first and second chakra conscious awareness, how would one feel in a social situation, not having the energetic apparatus to comfortably vibrate there: being able to conceptualize the experience, but not really feel it when one is in it? I thought about that as an analogy to how it feels to see love--in real life, but as if it were in a dream or vision--and have no capacity to give or receive it with capacious resonance. It just feels off, it doesn't add up. However, when one does have facility with that capacious resonance, with but a knowing glance, it can all click into place like the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. One feels the support of all one sees, of the universe.
I expect that if you were to seek out this level of consciousness, it would be so very, very painful to begin to experience what has been so dearly missing from your life for so long. (Don't ask me how I know that, but it has to do with me, not so much you.) Because the pathway to the loving heart is so murky and slippery, beginning in the zone you are now, well, yes, it might be better to avoid the sunlight and remain traveling in the goblin caves until you reach end of this life's road. That would be the more expedient choice. And when it's over, you can re-evaluate and move on from there.
Rereading one of your posts above, I thought, if one only had access to first and second chakra conscious awareness, how would one feel in a social situation, not having the energetic apparatus to comfortably vibrate there: being able to conceptualize the experience, but not really feel it when one is in it? I thought about that as an analogy to how it feels to see love--in real life, but as if it were in a dream or vision--and have no capacity to give or receive it with capacious resonance. It just feels off, it doesn't add up. However, when one does have facility with that capacious resonance, with but a knowing glance, it can all click into place like the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. One feels the support of all one sees, of the universe.
I expect that if you were to seek out this level of consciousness, it would be so very, very painful to begin to experience what has been so dearly missing from your life for so long. (Don't ask me how I know that, but it has to do with me, not so much you.) Because the pathway to the loving heart is so murky and slippery, beginning in the zone you are now, well, yes, it might be better to avoid the sunlight and remain traveling in the goblin caves until you reach end of this life's road. That would be the more expedient choice. And when it's over, you can re-evaluate and move on from there.