How do you develop willpower without succumbing to sts-ideals?

[dexter101]

title is the question. i have been struggling with this for so long. i have tried to develop willpower but it doesnt happen without suffering and so far the only way to get trough that amount of suffering is the belief that ultimately it will improve me, make me stronger than the rest. i dont know how else to develop that kind of willpower. i have tried to see it in the eyes of love but that just causes me a great deal of anger.
i know in the sto way a lot is done on faith rather than willpower but i dont see any other way for the specific situation im in.