Other-selves and projection

[Minyatur]

If you think certain issues are not your issues and they are being projected on you, then I think you ought to learn to let others' issues be what they are. That is, their own issues.

It's great to internalize everything about us, but at the end of it you'll always just get back to the process of centering yourself within yourself to balance things out. You can't do that for someone else and instead perhaps merely hope to be an inspiration of what this process can bring. For example, that you said "that he's got the power not to let the situation take over his emotions so much and that ultimately getting so worked up about it is going to be unhelpful to anyone" to me is excellent, sure it's not what he wants to hear but on the other hand did you also have to hear his ranting? If that's how you are processing the event yourself, then I think it's great to share your truth as a feedback and give him the power to have a conscious choice regarding how he wants to feel. You can't make choices for him.

I personally think that you ought to speak your truth if you see it fit when you are consulted over things your brother is displeased about, the rest of the time you ought to center yourself on yourself and your own issues. Acknowledge the differences, acknowledge that you are not responsible to neither change him nor to change yourself for him, then honor this understanding.