A question for the advanced

[Sacred Fool]

  
Hi there, Indiken, and welcome to these forums.

First, just to let you know, the fact that you are seeking to balance deep and disturbing elements within yourself may be not only a service to yourself, but also to our larger planetary being.  I wish you much love and grace in that endeavour.

Second, regarding visitors, it may benefit you to know if they are of the light or otherwise.  They may be coming to aid you or for less benevolent purposes.  If you care about this, you can learn to challenge them and ask them to show their colours, if you will.  I'm sure Carla's books cover this sort of thing.

Interacting with experiences such as you are having can teach us something about what we are, what we want, if we wish to grow, etc.  Be well.