Relationships

[Sacred Fool]

 
It might be for you that there are many energetic charges on many levels going on simultaneously and that these cross up with each other here or there and cause much internal confusion.  You might find it useful to sort out the feelings you are experiencing on various levels, both how you receive passively as well as how you are driven to act.

I would begin with the level of survival.  Scribble down the passive feelings that come over you when you think about your survival and how your former wife affects these feelings.  Also record what actions these feelings drive you to.  Do the same for other levels of awareness such as intimate relations, social relations, your basic sense of self, sense of well being, sense of purpose, etc.  Eventually, check in with your heart to see what's resonating there.

Put all this down for awhile, then come back and read through it and try to organize what you've gotten so far.  Continue the process.  Then stand back look at the whole business from an overview and see what you see.  This might help you sort things out a bit in terms of your own centre and how all this is actually affecting you.

I wish you good seeking.