Depression and Accepting or Resisting Futility

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Was reading yesterday night and came across this and immediately thought I should add it to this thread.

Questioner: Not on that particular subject. But I do have something that is troubling me, it has been for the last few weeks. I’ve been experiencing periods of depression, and periods of inability to interact in anything near a harmonious way to the people around me. I know I’ve not been following a rigorous program of meditation. At times I’ve let it slip altogether. But, here this last week when I did attempt to sit and meditate, I’ve come out of it feeling tired, and in a worse frame of mind than when I sat down to begin. I know, that of late, I’ve been shutting myself off quite frequently, as if something inside is slowly rebelling, at least momentarily rebelling against an influx of outside stimulus, and not until today have I experienced any form of inner peace. I’d like, if you will say some words on my mistakes in my current meditations, and if you would say a few words on dealing with that state of mind we refer to as depression.

I am Latwii, and I am aware of your question, my brother. First of all, may we say that in truth there can be no mistakes, for this illusion you find yourself within, each of you, is an experience which has the purpose of teaching. Each of you, in some way, seeks to learn the lessons of love. These lessons, in the particular case of which you now speak, concern learning to love the self. Learning to accept the self, as the self is and expresses daily. Learning to forgive the self, for that which is felt to be less than desired. The state of mind which you call depression is simply the realization consciously, [that] the self has not been accepted.

Again we say, there are no mistakes. You have each moment that you experience in your daily round of activities an opportunity to see yourself in many reflections, to see yourself [in] the faces of those you meet. To see yourself in the activity which you undertake. To see yourself within your own mind and your own heart. To accept yourself, to love yourself, to know that at the core of your being lies perfection, lies the creation, lies the infinite love and light that binds all of creation. You have presented to you, with each waking moment, an infinite array of opportunities to see this unity of self evolve. In order to see that unity, it is most frequently necessary to first be presented with the illusion of separateness, the illusion of the self which is not perfect, the illusion of the self which is filled with mistakes, and the illusion of the feeling and inability to accept the self.


To learn the lesson most fully, to drive it the deepest within the heart of your being, it is necessary first to experience the opposite of what is true, the illusion of imperfection of separateness. In your meditations, attempt then to see the perfection of being, attempt to see how each opportunity you have encountered, each thought of a depressing nature you have welcomed, has presented you an opportunity both ways, as imperfect and as perfect. See the choices that you have made, and (inaudible) have been swayed towards the imperfect; see then the opportunity for the perfection. For does not each opportunity teach? Have you not noticed each opportunity’s lessons? Indeed, you have. For you have noted your own failures, as you call them. But look at them in another light.

Have they not shown you the depth of your being, the range of your feelings? The possibilities of your learning? To be alive and aware in your illusion is a state of mind and perception which few among your people enjoy. For they have been, shall we say, deadened to the world about them, and the world within them. Therefore, rejoice in the feelings which surge within your being, and see therefore the other side of the illusion which is the truth of your own perfection, your oneness, and the love/light that dwells with you. Attempt then, in your waking hours to continue the feeling you develop in your meditations so that a new light is shed on the experiences which you encounter. Do not forget you can have it an illusion. Do not forget it has but one purpose, to teach that you are whole, and perfect, acceptable, and loved.

It doesn't resonate. I mean, maybe it's true, but I just don't feel it. It just sounds like meaningless positive bullshit. I know it's not, but that's just all it sounds like to me. None of this really gets me out of the feeling of disappointment. It just doesn't resonate. I dunno, maybe I just haven't reached that point yet. Thanks though for sharing. I am re-reading it and re-re-reading it to absorb it, but... nothing so far. Thanks though for sharing.