Depression and Accepting or Resisting Futility

[pat19989]

Thanks for your input loostudent. When I say "Futility" I'm talking about some things you can never change. Maybe it's not futile to have my romantic and social needs met, but I'm having to accept the futility of ever getting my friend back. Call it black and white, but what shade of gray is there? There doesn't seem to be any hope she'll ever come around in the future, and that's painful, but maybe I won't be so depressed if I can come to terms with it and learn to accept it, rather than telling myself "I have to be able to convince my friend! I need reconciliation! I need to believe there's still hope!" you know what I mean?

Still, comparing myself to myself yesterday and not people doing better than me is probably really good advice.

Hi evolvingpheonix. thank you for sharing so much with the community, i have thoroughly enjoyed reading through everyone's advice and thoughts as well as your own.

I wanted to give my 2 cents to hopefully be of some help. Remember that I do not know that much about you as a person, only what I've read from this thread. I've never experienced what you are experiencing right now.

However, what I do have experience with is loneliness is self-doubt. Those two conditions have been my greatest challenges in this life. I have had to deal with moving away from my family and all my friends to a city where I do not have much of anyone. I have spent countless hours thinking about the past when I had friends and family to talk to and love all the time. This train of thinking has made me, and continues to make me, very depressed when I allow myself to think about it too much.

My healthiest coping mechanisms that I have developed over the past couple years have been three fold:
1. Remind yourself that time does not move forward as we experience it. Time simply is. View your whole life as a 3 dimensional object that is only partially complete, any love that was felt or shared at any point in your life lives in that object forever. Therefore, all of those moments you cherish with friends that are long gone still exist. Every beautiful moment you have ever been apart of lives forever. Any ounce of love you have put in the universe remains and is real in your being and anyone you shared it with.

2. Go outside, take a walk on a trail, look at the trees and the sun and be thankful for this earth we live on. Try not to think about any issues with humanity or human beings. This earth will never go anywhere as long as you live. If you learn to love nature, it will always be there for you.

3. Breathe. Let every breath remind you that you are present and alive. The present is the only true experience left, and the only experience you've ever known. Walk your path with confidence

love