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[aWanderer91]

From what I can gather, I think you could relax a little and not think about harsh consequences for not providing a service. I like to think that our higher self and god have a lot of mercy, love and patience with us. To feel that you will be punished and have to suffer for not following through with these urges would make the universe quite a severe and forceful place.

Give yourself time...more than anything I second what Diana said, you have stuff to ponder here