Like a misplaced puzzle piece

[IndigoSalvia]

I was reading Quo last night and they made a special note of explaining the STO and STS paths, as that which is and that which is not paths, respectively. As a person who didn't/doesn't fit in particularly well, I wonder if the world about us - the 3D illusion, consensus reality, etc. - presents to us what seems to be ample opportunity to participate in that which is not. More specifically, that which is not us .. that which does not seem to fit no matter how much we try (or don't try as the case may be).

Kind of like Goldilocks: that's too hard, that's too soft, that's too cold, that's too hot, and eventually Goldilocks finds something that's just right. That is a fit just for her.

More so when I was younger, I walked around wondering: why in the world don't I fit in like others seem to? It - the world about me, the seeming rules and expectations - just never seemed to feel like a good fit. I vacillated between trying to fit in and not trying at all.

And perhaps that's the point of the journey: to find, through trial and error, what truly resonates, what truly fits for each one of us. 

When I look back at my years here, I can see a fair amount of feeling like I didn't fit. The times I savor the most are when I seemingly stumbled upon being my authentic self. (I thought: Oh, wow, this feels right. Why aren't others doing this?) 

Perhaps, I could have lessened the trial-and-error struggles by listening to my own resonances, instead of those offered about me. I think that I could hear the world about me more than I could hear my own resonances. It's a strong illusion. 

As well, there is an opportunity cost. Instead of having a clear resonance and finding what is (for me), I learned lots about that which is not ... that which is not me. And in the process of trying on that which is not me, I learned to refine and hone in on that which is me.