05-13-2022, 09:19 PM
(05-13-2022, 08:20 PM)Awizeking Wrote: Spiritualchaos, to answer your first question. I guess I assumed that this maybe would be the best place to introduce myself. My mind was not in the direction of explaining why I might be a wanderer or perhaps my experiences to lead me to believe so. Speaking in all humbleness and love I figured that needed no introduction and again perhaps this wasn’t the right spot for that. But I can just as easily say a bit here and now. Even as a baby when I couldn’t even speak I had clear and conscious thoughts of knowing things that I did not know how I knew. And when I reflected on these very early memories and even wondered how I had clear and conscious thoughts in word form. so young. I’ve always felt as if my father was not my father and somehow I was adopted but would always says that’s just my imagination. I’ve always hung out with people much older then myself because of my mental maturity and somehow people would always come to me for advice and support even in my early years. Which I rather enjoyed helping. People would often tell me I’m wise beyond my years or how do I know such things at such a young age. I honestly never questioned it when I was younger. I had somewhat of a crisis when I was in my late 20s that showed me the path of yoga and meditation. I practiced for many years sincerely, with my mind, body and emotions. Many wonderful and amazing things happened to me but I was looking for true enlightenment. Then for your next question about the experience I wrote about. Before that meditation I had been setting my mood and Intent all day and vowed to not leave my closet until I found some truth. I asked to know who I truly was at the deepest level and I think I received just that. From what I gather I opened up a gateway to my higher self, and I think one I wasn’t quite ready or just barely ready for it e cause it was so overwhelming. By any means am I comparing myself to anyone in the Bible but there are stories of when these great people would meet angels or God and they were at first very afraid. Again I asked for this to happen but I truly did not know what I was asking for. I think the intense emotional turmoil kick started things and my mind breaking was me shattering my ego. As I stated in the first post I searched the feeling of what this power was and it was neither good nor evil I felt it beyond both of them. My fear was from the shear force of what I was feeling, the enormous amount of energy serging through my body. It was a force or a power that nothing I could even imagine amount to. The only thing it instructed me in was to direct my love to my family instead of the impulsive sense pleasures I was dealing with. It did tell me what I was doing that was not aligning with who I wanted to be and expressed my greed to me. The emotions where of my body and mind when being instructed. This is only my interpretation but I feel as if it was communication with me in a way I would understand and I’m a highly emotional and empathetic person. So I believe it was utilizing my gifts in a way which I would understand. Again this is all my interpretation. I believe I awaken my kundalini but it’s so hard to find someone of this experience to really help me navigate my this happening. I had a very hard time grounding myself for a long time after this event. It was so much to process and my mind was just blown and in shock and awww. Not at any minute did I think it was telling me something wrong or unjust it was absolutely correct in every regard. It spoke to me just as your conscious would when trying to help you, your inner dialogue and teacher per say that you experience from day to day living but only magnified a million times over. After I got some help and I started grounding myself my meditation became easier and more fluid. I began asking for the lessons that I needed to learn, I began asking for help, I began asking for the growth that was needed for me to advance spiritually. And of course they came and I learned to eventually I found the Ra material and first heard of a wander and of course I was drawn. I did my research and came to the conclusion that I very well possibly am a wanderer which In turn lead me here.
My awakening has been very rapid, although I haven't had a ton of difficulty adjusting, as I feel more comfortable being awake in this illusion than I ever did asleep. It feels like I finally found a pair of shoes that fit, and kicked off the ones that were two sizes too small.
This is a good place to get different perspectives, and lots of love and support, as most of the members here live the Law of One. Please don't take my questions and comments as anything but just passing thoughts in the wind. Just grab on to the ones that move you and let the others drift away. I am just a very curious person and am trying to understand others more deeply and fully and tend to ask a lot of potentially triggering questions. I really am coming from a place of love.
If you need some advice or someone to talk to, I'm here to listen. Since I am currently going through these experiences quite intensely on a daily basis, I may be able to offer some support, and if you are interested, I have a thread talking about my YouTube channel about wanderers. I express myself through my art more deeply than I can with words.
Love & Light to you.
Wanderers Series on YouTube (bring4th.org)