the ultimate act of compassion - Japan

[Monica]

monica and turtle
i would think u would judge it by the kindness and consideration of their
words.

Respectfully, dear brother, I would never judge another person by their words alone. The reason is that words are inefficient and often inaccurate.

Communication is of blue ray. A person might be very loving, ie. fully open in green ray, but blocked in blue ray, and thus unable to communicate clearly. We've all met people who had sweet, gentle spirits, but weren't very articulate. Or, they may have lacked the wisdom to know how to express themselves honestly without offending others.

I've also known people who were sharp of word because they were in in need of healing. Or sometimes they were just in a hurry...or having a bad day. Then there are those who intentionally deceive with their words. And, we've all been guilty of having good intentions, and speaking syrupy sweet words of love, but falling short in our actions.

There are myriad reasons why a person's words might not reflect their true intentions.

In everyday life, I consider actions more important than words.

In an internet forum, we have only words. We can't even see their facial expressions or hear their tone of voice! So words are even more limited than in real life.

This topic is explored in more depth in

Life on Planet Earth > Cognitive Distortions and Forum Relationships

I suggest that reading that thread in its entirety be done before continuing this dialog, so we can avoid going over the same ground that has already been covered there.

and then i want zen to respond to my questions and dont avoid it.
then let him compose a post to me and let turtle moderate it and ill respond.

Zenmaster isn't on trial here. He is free to respond to your invitation if he wishes. But, if I may make a suggestion, such terminology as "then i want zen to respond to my questions and dont avoid it" doesn't sound very inviting...in the same way that zenmaster's use of the word whiny didn't sound very inviting.

I encourage everyone to use care in their choice of words.

right now people are not posting on this board because they feel they are going to be ridiculed that i know for a fact.

That is sad indeed! I agree that the climate can be improved. Can we ALL do our part to resolve this?

that is not what the board was when i first came here. so if this is ok with u turtle and u monica and u zen we will proceed. but before we start we have to have an agreement of all parties.

Well, again respectfully, norral, we don't 'have' to have anything. I don't think it's necessary to make stipulations. We all have free will here and it isn't necessary to 'enforce' any rules on our conversation, other than the normal forum guidelines.

Hopefully, everyone is interested enough in restoring harmony, that they will participate voluntarily.

Again, to reiterate: I encourage everyone to please read the Cognitive Distortions thread, before proceeding in this discussion. It will provide some excellent background as well as reveal the progress this community has already made. Let's not reinvent the wheel!

I will be merging these posts with that thread, once I get time to do it, so that this thread can be restored to its original topic.