04-19-2011, 06:06 PM
I've felt this way a million times. It seems like every week I'm having a breakdown, feeling like it's all for nothing. The pain has been so intense at times that I had to be hospitalized to keep me from killing myself. It seemed like there was no point...just pain everywhere I looked, and nothing I did could ever heal it.
But...every time I've gotten into this funk, I always, ALWAYS end up finding a mote of love tucked away somewhere that completely moves me to tears in its simplicity and sincerity. Beautiful moment creep out of the woodwork, even when I'm doing my best at feeling sorry for myself, having to endure this "wretched planet." That love is so bright that it can't be ignored, and once it's gotten inside of me, it spreads all throughout my body and soul, and I become love, and I see love everywhere I look, even in the darkest corners.
I would almost think that the overwhelming relief, compassion and hope that come from these brief respites from the troubles of the world more than make up for the long periods of pain between them. In a universe of timelessness, a single moment of love can stretch on forever, and a decade of pain can pass in the blink of an eye. It's all about which one you choose to focus your attention toward. That is the only advice I can give...the only thing that has kept me going. Look for those moments of love, and they will find you.
But...every time I've gotten into this funk, I always, ALWAYS end up finding a mote of love tucked away somewhere that completely moves me to tears in its simplicity and sincerity. Beautiful moment creep out of the woodwork, even when I'm doing my best at feeling sorry for myself, having to endure this "wretched planet." That love is so bright that it can't be ignored, and once it's gotten inside of me, it spreads all throughout my body and soul, and I become love, and I see love everywhere I look, even in the darkest corners.
I would almost think that the overwhelming relief, compassion and hope that come from these brief respites from the troubles of the world more than make up for the long periods of pain between them. In a universe of timelessness, a single moment of love can stretch on forever, and a decade of pain can pass in the blink of an eye. It's all about which one you choose to focus your attention toward. That is the only advice I can give...the only thing that has kept me going. Look for those moments of love, and they will find you.
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